Break time

Hello lovely readers,

After much thought I have decided to take a break from blogging while I'm in school. It's too much right now. This working full-time, going to school full-time, and being mom is making this mama cray-cray. My health comes first, than my family, followed by work, and school. With my mind pulled into so many directions I feel I can't create the quality content I would like to put out there.

The last few posts I've done here and on Portland Moms Blog have been about self-care. Me taking time off is the self-care I need right now. I can't commit to anything else until I have walked down that aisle with my diploma.

There are a couple of posts I have already committed to for Portland Moms Blog and then will be taking a hiatus from there too. In May I will be at Birth Without Fear Portland Meet-up with the gorgeous Sarah Swofford and her fantastic book From Ouch to Ahh, a guide to sex post childbirth. It's a treat you won't want to miss. I will be posting a book review soon.

Thank you so much for understanding. I will be back. Promise. Meanwhile go hug someone you love and give them a big wet kiss while you are at it.

xoxox,

Melania

Vacation

2015 came to an end while we were vacationing in the Olympic Peninsula for a week. We spent 7 days in a house right on the water, looking out toward the San Juan Islands. The view took my breath every time looked out the window. It didn't matter if we had rain, sunshine, or grey clouds, the scenery delivered magic every day.

I needed this vacation. After spending 3.5 months working full-time, taking 16 college credits, writing part-time, AND being a mom, my whole being needed a week to sleep in, hang out in pj's, watch the marine life frolic in the water twenty yards away from the glassed-in porch, walk on the beach, read, play games on my phone, do yoga, meditate, play with my daughter, snuggle with my husband, and do whole lot of nothing.

Last summer we took a week-long similar vacation on the Oregon Coast and we realized then that we needed to do this every year and with me in school, twice/year was absolutely necessary.

This week off was the perfect ending to my #31daysofselfcare, best way to start off 2016, and get myself pumped for another year. Here's a few photos I took. Enjoy and Happy New Year!

Our beach

Seals

Sunset

Heart Rock

Stone tower

Building sand castles with Boo

Olympic Game Farm

Evening view of Mt. Baker

In Victoria, BC (Boo's 1st time out of the USA)

The Empress

Bald Eagle

Frost Magic

Water fowl

Last morning view

31 days of Self-care

Holidays are a hard time to stay on top of self-care with all the festivities going on, but as I'm finishing up the 1st semester of the bachelor completion program at Pacific University, I feel like I've been run through a food processor and then tossed out to the pigs for a snack. My body, mind, and spirit are craving some much-needed TLC. Most people wait until after the holidays to take care of themselves, well, I can't afford that as in January I will be starting the 2nd semester of school.

Therefore, I am dedicating the month of December to self-care. Follow me on Facebook and Instagram as I post each day, starting today, on self-care tips and pictures. #31daysofselfcare

Happy Holidays and don't forget to give yourself a little love too.

xoxo,

Melania

Learning to Unplug

A few weeks ago, I decided on a whim to take my daughter for a hike early Saturday morning. When we got down to the car and I had her all buckled into the car seat, I realized I'd left my phone upstairs in our 3rd floor condo. In that moment, I knew that if I unbuckled her and we went back up, we'd never make it out the door again, and decided to go without it. As I merged onto the freeway, the tendrils of panic began to tighten around my chest.

What if we broke down? What if got lost on the trail? What if my husband wakes up and doesn't know where we are at? What if, what if, WHAT IF the world ended right in the next hour.....

I told myself we'd go to Multnomah Falls because enough people were there if something were to happen, we could get help. As soon as we crossed over the Sandy river bridge, I pulled off the highway following the signs to Lewis and Clark State Park, a place I'd never been before, AKA not Multnomah Falls. I'd driven pass this park before and wondered where the trail went. Somehow that morning, I thought would be a good time to explore a new trail with a toddler without my PHONE!

There were a couple other cars parked in the lot so I knew we wouldn't be totally alone on the trail. After getting over my fears, we set off with water and snacks in my bag. Oh, what a beautiful morning it turned out to be. Hints of fall colors sprinkled the foliage around us as we climbed up the hill. We spotted birds, chipmunks, and squirrels. Boo loved all the different bugs we came across, including the spider, who's web I almost walked into.

As we climbed higher the trial became more rocky and narrow. We had to climb over boulders more and more until we reached half way up and I discovered why the path had become so rough. Shear cliff surfaces met us as trail leveled off. Boo instantly spotted metal loops in the rock above us. Soon we heard voices as we walked along and discovered a couple of young guys climbing with ropes. Boo's eyes lit up at the sight. "What are they doing, mama?" She asked.

I explained that they were rock-climbing and used ropes and other equipment to stay safe. You can guess what she wanted to do next, but I told her she needed to take lessons at the rock-climbing gym first before I could let her climb here. We eventually turned around and went back the way we came. In all we spent 1.5 hours out in nature hiking. We had so much fun and I kind of dreaded returning back home to technology. That part surprised me.

15 years ago, I didn't have a cell phone or a personal computer. There was no Facebook or Twitter. At my job, I used a computer to schedule appointments and register patients, but we still wrote chart notes by hand. I checked my email 2-3 times a week at the library.

Now, I work 40/week in front of a computer as all the work I do is electronic. On top of that, I spend about 16 hours/week working on my BS degree program which is purely online. Add to that 5-8 hours of writing, marketing, and personal finance use per week and I'm spending up to 62 hours in front of a computer screen if not more. This is not even including my smart phone time and social media. When did my life turn into a scene from a sci-fi flick?

I'd tried to limit my screen time as much as possible before bed-time but now with school, I've let my rules slack a bit. But this little hiking trip really nailed it for me. I NEED to unplug or I will loose my mind. That night I made 3 commitments: 1) to put my phone on airplane mode after 9 pm until I got up to work at 4 am, 2) turn my phone off when I'm out hiking or in nature, and 3) when I'm with friends the phone goes in the purse on silent.

Had my brought my phone with me that morning, I guarantee you anyone within a mile radius would have heard me shrieking as I tried to get the spider off my head because I was too busy taking an Instagram shot and not paying attention the web across the path.

Photo Credit: Jordan McQueen www.unsplash.com

Nature

I recently did a blog post for Portland Moms Blog on Filling the Mama Well and how it's not just one well, but three: mind, body, and spirit. For me nature fills all my wells and an important factor in self-care.

What do I mean when I say Nature?

According to the Webster's Dictionary the definition of nature is "the physical world and everything in it (such as plants, animals, mountains, oceans, stars, etc.) that is not made by people." That means going outside on my balcony and sitting in the sun, listening to the birds in the near by trees, and feeling the wind on my face is part of nature.

Now to be honest, I much rather go for a long walk on an empty beach and stand in the surf, breathing in the revitalizing ocean air or hike to the the many gorgeous waterfalls in the Columbia River Gorge and smell the rich, earthy forest scents, but when that isn't possible I can make time for nature right here in my home.

Spending time in nature is a key element to filling the mind, body, and spirit well, but also provide healing from the harsh energies that surround modern life.

So how does nature fill the wells?

Mind. There are many studies out there that show the benefits of nature. For example one study done at Stanford showed a decrease in anxiety and improvement in cognition. These are just two of the many ways fills the mind well. For me a hike in the woods, calms my mind, gives me clarity in decision-making, and the endorphin boost from the physical movement give me the feeling of well-being.

Body. Humans are made to move, when we don't things don't go so well. Exercising outside only adds to the abundance positives from nature. First of all when you are out in the park all of your senses are being exposed to nature. The fresh air helps with detoxifying your body when you exercise. A simple walk through the local park not only fills the mind well, but your body's well too.

Spirit. Nature is one of the best ways to feed the soul. Nature inspires creativity, nature sounds heal, and nature smells uplift. Take a moment and go outside. Take off your shoes and let your feet touch the earth. Focus on cool feeling of the dirt or grass touching your soles. What do your feel? Do you feel pulled down deeper as if growing roots into the earth? To your toes tingle? Follow whatever you are feeling for a few minutes and then come back to your body. How do you feel now? Chances are you are feeling pretty grounded. This is my go -to exercise when I feel like the world is pulling me in every direction.

Here are some other nature tips that have helped me:

• Walking around the playground at the park while my daughter plays
• Standing in the grass bare-foot for 5-10 minutes
• Sitting on a rock near a river or stream and sticking my feet in the water
• Watering the flowers and plants on my balcony
• Weeding the planters and pruning the dead flowers 
• Taking a 15-20 minute jog through a nature park
• Drinking my morning tea or a glass of water outside on my balcony
• Watching the sunset or sunrise
• Doing 15-20 minute yoga stretches outside in the park or on my balcony
• Dedicating a weekly hour to a specific "hobby" in nature like hiking, kayaking, biking, skiing, paddle-boarding, snorkeling, or whatever is appropriate for the season you are in and location you live in.

 OK, now it's your turn. Please share your nature tips below in the comments.

Last days of Summer

Hi ya'll!

Welcome back to Urban Goddess Revealed. So many things have changed in my personal and professional goals over the summer. From the beginning, my goal for this blog was to empower women, moms in particular, but really all females in general. The world is a hard place and though woman have come a long way, there is still so much more work to do in regards to equality, balance, and creating.

The world we are living in today is not the same as our mother's or grandmother's. Roles are constantly changing for both men and women. Society demands keep growing. The modern mother should be able to keep a home, raise her children, succeed in her career, and be the gracious doting wife, mother, and supportive member of the community. I say bull shit. Living to those kind of expectations is ridiculous. I tried once (twice, okay many times) and crashed hard. It's just not sustainable. Yes, we women are powerful, strong, and amazing creatures, but we still have our limits. Those limits change from day to day and we need to be aware of them. And like Elizabeth Gilbert said in one of her interviews, women today don't have roll models to look up to as did our mothers and grandmothers, so we keep peeking into each other's lives to see what is working and not. That's why I started this blog, so you could have a peek into my life and see if there is something I'm doing that might help you in yours. Heavens know, I'm not saint or have it all figured out. Far from it. We are all treading new ground. We are in this story together.

This summer as I took time off for my family and myself, I learned many things about myself.

• I'm a people-pleaser. Half of my problems stem from this. Life is too short to waste time on people who don't want to rise above their situation and live a better life. Going through a heart-breaking situation this summer has lead me to care less about what people's opinions of me are. I do my best to be kind to everyone around me, if that's not enough for you, well too bad.
• I crave financial freedom. Last winter I discovered Kate Northrup's Money: a Love Story and it has changed my life. While on our 10 year anniversary vacation at the beach, sitting on the porch, looking out over the ocean, with a glass of wine in my hand, I realized that I wanted more of this. In order to have more of this, I needed to make a few sacrifices in the next couple of years to get myself in a position to have what I desire. Being able to enjoy more time with my family in my favorite setting requires financial freedom. The first step for me, enroll in school to finish my bachelor's degree, which I did while on vacation. Second, start a business that will grow bringing in residual income. I've already started this step as I am now a published author of 2 books with more on the way.
• I need to take better care of myself. Two years ago when I started my battle with postpartum depression, I learned the importance of self-care which lead me to starting this blog. I walked my talk until about 8 months ago when I fell off the bandwagon flat on my face in the mud pit. This summer dealing with family issues, job stress, and yet another bout of depression really put things in perspective again. And since I started the bachelor's completion program last week, self-care has now become a very strong component if I'm going to succeed in my higher education endeavors.
• I want to add value to this world. Therefore in the next few months to a year, I will focus this blog on self-care, because this is a valuable topic all woman, and men too, can use more of. In this day and age of technology and the constant rush to get somewhere, it's easy to forget to take care of the mind, body, and spirit. When we take care of ourselves, we can bring more value in the world around us.

 So with all that, starting September 1, I will be posting once a month on the first of the month on a topic related to self-care. With full-time school and work on top of writing, this is all I can do right now. I love to write, but I want to make sure that what I'm putting out there is valuable to you, therefore I'm limiting my blogging to one a month. Quality instead of quantity.

I don't know about you, I'm super excited about arrival of fall. This summer has been very stressful and hot and now I'm ready for some cold weather, rain, cider, pumpkin lattes, and crisp mornings. Don't get me wrong, I really enjoyed summer. How could I not?  My summer was full of concerts, beach trips, and family time. Yes, this summer was good, stressful, but really good.

But that doesn't take away from the fact I'm ready for my favorite season of the year- Fall.

Hello Summer!

Hello Urban Goddesses & Gods,

The last couple of months have been a whirlwind of activity and personal life drama (that part not so fun). The craziness threatened to take over super-alien invasion-like and then June rolled around and I inhaled the freshness of summer.

To summarize the madness, here are a few highlights and see pictures at the end of the post:

• Health issues
• Loss of a friend battling depression
• Another bought of depression of my own
• Urban Goddess Mama-to-Be releases!! Yay! Click here for more info.
• Starting of a new book. Another yay with a splash of "oh crap, are they going to like this one?"
• Friend's wedding 
• Birthdays (Hubby's 40th and mine and no I'm not going to tell you how old I am)
• Day job stress learning a new database system
• New laptop (birthday gift from Hubby! BEST. MAN. EVER.)
• Birth Without Fear Portland Meet-up
• AND Portland Moms Blog

Phew! And that's not all, but I'm not going to bore you any longer. As June is about to wrap up, I will be taking the summer off from blogging, except for Portland Moms Blog.

Summer is a time to celebrate family , nature, and the gift of life. This summer I'm going to focus on that. We're taking a family vacation to the beach to celebrate our 10 year anniversary, Boo Creature and I will also be taking a couple of trips to visit out-of-state family, and there will be lots of concerts, music festivals, camping, and outdoor activities throughout.

I'm absolutely excited about taking a summer off to enjoy family time. I won't totally be off because I still have my day job, but I'm also taking a little time off from that too.

So enjoy your summer, my divine friends! I'll be back early September and with some really exciting news to share with you (it's still in the works and I can't talk about it yet.)

I leave you with a few pictures, as promised.

Much love,
Melania

Boo Creature all dressed up for the wedding.

Book Baby #2 is out!!!!

Birth Without Fear Meet-Up! January Harshe is the ultimate mama goddess.

This was my first real book-signing event. I met some amazing women who really inspired me. For more pictures of the event you can click here.










Finally this is how I spent my Birthday. Massage, pedicure, and new haircut. If you can't practice self-care on your birthday, then when can you?

The UnImaginable

Yesterday I did three things I once thought unimaginable.

1. This.

Crossing the finish line of my 1st 5k run I've done since high school AND I even ran most of the way!! Five months ago I couldn't even run to the end of the block let alone a mile.

2. Joining a Mom Blogging Community- Portland Moms Blog is launching on the 26th of this month and I have the great privilege to be a regular contributor. If you would have asked me if I would blog about mommy stuff two years ago, I would have laughed in your face and said "Unimaginable." Yesterday I met the other ladies who will be blogging with me and I was blown away by their awesomeness. Click here to view a photo that is a preview of the shenanigans to come.

3. My evening ended with this.

I have been dying to see these two since I discovered them on YouTube three years ago. I have all of their albums and I listen to them often, but this Croatian duo performing live is something out of this world. They went from classical cello pieces to classic rock jamming to tender romantic melodies that sent chills and goosebumps throughout my body. If you ever get a chance to see these guys, DO!! The experience is unimaginable.

Green Kombucha Smoothie

Last week I had a rough day. One of those where everything seemed wrong, when the motivation ship had sailed away long ago, and I felt like the biggest loser on the planet.

In the process of doing some self-care, I made this simple smoothie with whatever I had in the house. Thought I'd share with you because it came out pretty darn good and I went from frumpy mood to superhero mama mode within minutes of consuming the last drop of green magic.

Green Kombucha Smoothie

8 oz Kombucha (I used Humm brand, the strawberry lemonade flavor)
1 cup Trader Joe's Organic Greek Plain Yogurt
1 1/2  cups Organic Fresh Baby Spinach Greens
2 Bananas

Blend the kombucha and baby spinach until smooth and there are no pieces of spinach left. Add yogurt and bananas. Blend again until smooth. Enjoy the frothy liquid goodness.

Working moms and exercise

"I'm a mom, I don't have TIME to exercise." I hear this all the time. In fact, I used to use the same excuse, that is until postpartum depression set in and I needed to do something about it pronto. Exercise has been one of my top depression busters ever since.

The truth of the matter is, you can exercise and it doesn't matter how busy you are as a mom. You can always find the time just like you find time to go pee and eat. The body needs movement just like it needs air, water, and nutrition. Some of the benefits of exercise:

• Improved mood
• Decreased Depression
• Stress relief
• Cardiovascular Fitness
• Increased Metabolism
• Better Sleep
• Improved Well-being

With that being said, I totally get the mentality behind non-exercise. Motivation plays a key factor. It's so hard to get moving when you don't FEEL like exercising. For me, changing the way I view exercise helped me develop a more regular practice of daily movement and I'm here to tell you even if you work a full-time job you can still find time for exercise. Here are five simple ways to add exercise to your super busy mama life:
 

• Walking/running  (stroller) Take 15 minutes to go outside and walk! If you are a runner, you can do that too. I started training for a 5K last fall by taking my daughter in the jogging stroller for a 15 minute run 3 times a week.
• Mommy and me yoga. There are plenty of classes out there, but also videos and books. Check out your local library.
• Join a gym with a daycare. This is a great way to get exercise and mommy time in one setting.
• Dance for 5-10 minutes to your favorite tunes with or/without baby.
• Stairs. I work at a seven-floor hospital and when I'm in the office, I take a 15 minute break and just go up and down the entire stair case several times. 
• Hike it Baby. Great way to connect with other moms and get some exercise in. They have plenty of hikes on the weekends for working moms.
• 7-minute workout app. There are several out there to choose from, most of them free. These apps are awesome because they will take you through an entire workout including pushups, squats, and crunches in 7 minutes! Who doesn't have SEVEN minutes to devote to their health?

As you can see, there are plenty of different ways to get moving throughout the day.You need this girlfriend!

The Art of Extreme Self-Care Chapter 12

Hello and welcome to The Art of Extreme Self-care postpartum style. For those of you who are new to my blog, last December I announced I would be doing a read-a-long of The Art of Extreme Self-care by Cheryl Richardson and sharing with you how I applied the principles of the book in a postpartum setting. We did it folks. We made it through the whole book. Last chapter was about waking up your passion. Let's dive into chapter 12.

Chapter Overview: Creating an Extreme Self-care Emergency kit

What I got out of the chapter: Life happens. Kids teeth, have growing pains, get sick, and have rough days. Jobs can be stressful. Family can bring all kinds of drama. Having a Self-care Emergency Kit is extremely important to get you through those tough times that happen to everyone.

Saturday was one of them for me. I woke up in a crappy mood. All week my emotions had been spiraling downward. Part of the reason was I hadn’t had time to run, my newest endorphin-booster, and there had been other challenging things throughout the week that have thrown my mood off track. This morning, all I wanted was to crawl back in bed and forget the world. I put on Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood for Boo Creature, climbed back into bed, and threw the cover over my head. It took every ounce of energy and will power to get my ass out of bed after she watched 3 episodes and go running as my usual weekend routine goes. I took her to the park and ran around the playground as she played on the slides. My mood didn’t improve. 

When I got home Hubby woke up and took over after I told him what was going on. I took a sea salt bath while reading a good book. He cooked a late brunch for us and brought me a plate of pancakes and eggs while I bathed- something that made me feel like a queen. The delicious food, wonderful bath, and good book helped a little, but I was still pretty pissy. 

By now nap time had arrived. I lay down with my girl and we took a two hour nap. When I woke up in the afternoon, I felt a little better. We snuggled together and looked at pictures on my phone. A half hour later I felt even better. And I got up to write this post. 

I utilized at least three of the tools in my Self-care Emergency Kit.  Using the questions that Cheryl asks in chapter, I created the following kit and today I’m so happy I had it:
 

1.      Who can I turn to for support? My husband, my 2 best friends, and my goddess circle ladies.

2.      Who do I need to avoid? Certain family members, anyone who has intense energy.

3.      What does my body need? Yoga, swimming, sea salt bath, sleep, and time in nature.

4.      What responsibilities to I need to let go of to clear space? Writing, social gathering, and in extreme cases take time off work.

5.      What unhelpful coping strategies or activities do I need to avoid? Mindless TV watching, internet surfing, Facebook surfing, and playing Facebook games.

6.      What spiritual practice restores my faith and connection to Source? Yoga, meditation, and walking in nature (especially the beach).

7.      What do I need to feel comforted? I need space, food, and time to rest.

8.      How will I best express my feelings? Journaling and talking to a trusted friend.

9.      What object can I use as a talisman that will remind me to breath & relax? My heart-shaped rose quartz.

10.   What can I do when I need to take a break from the emotional stress? Read a good book, watch a funny movie, eat a Greek Salad with a glass of wine, and take a bath.

Thank you so much for reading this fantastic book with me throughout the year. I really enjoyed sharing what I’ve learned. Stayed tuned for an exciting announcement next week. 

Love,
Melania 

Being Present

Happy Monday Readers!

About 2 weeks ago, I had a reading done by a very intuitive friend who I hadn't seen in years. At the time of the reading I had feelings of frustration, anxiety, restlessness, and indecision dancing inside me like a drunken frat party were I was the only one sober. My next book edits came in late due to a communication error which added to the stress. I couldn't focus on work or writing. When my family was together on the weekend, my mind was far away in another land and lifetime.

Therefore it wasn't a surprise when the first thing my friend said was I needed to be present and that until I focused my energy on living in the now, all the dreams and goals I'd been struggling towards would only be pushed out farther. As soon as she said this I thought, "duh." I'd written about this in both of my books and constantly talked about it, but somewhere along the way, I lost my step and fell back onto the endless treadmill of worry, constantly thinking about my next book, the next project to tackle at my day job, where I'm going to send Boo Creature to preschool next year, when are we going to relocate our family to our dream location, if I should go back to school and complete my bachelors degree, and the list goes on.

Because my mind was everywhere but here, I was missing some of life's precious moments- something I didn't want. This was my wake up call and I answered. Her words resonated with every cell of my body. She gave me many insights and ideas of ways to get my life back on track.

That night I vowed to take a step back, clear my calendar (including my mental one) of things that really weren't important and set my priorities straight: 1. My health (mind, body, & soul), 2. My family, 3. My job, and 4. My dreams and goals. Everything else comes after that.

I also vowed to let life flow and stop fighting the events that ruin my well thought out plans. A week ago the promise to myself came to the test. My plan for that Sunday was: sleep in, yoga, lunch & nap with Boo, go to Samhain goddess circle, and family evening time. The time change also took place that day as well and of course my darling little daughter didn't get the memo as she woke up at 5 am, new time. Hubby hadn't slept well and he wasn't feeling good, so I let him go back to bed. Suffice to say, I didn't get to go to yoga that morning which made me sad since I was really looking forward to the class. Boo was in a mood too so I ended up putting her down for an early nap and I joined her for a good two hour snooze.

When we woke up we had some unexpected out-of-town family stop by. The kids played together and they were having so much fun I didn't want to tell them I needed to leave and break up their good time. Plus I'd run out of energy by this point to fight. By the time they left it was long after the goddess circle had already started so I wasn't going to make it there either. My plans had been ruined. However at the day's end, I did get some great family time with hubby and Boo.

Even though my day didn't turn out the way I had wanted I didn't mind at all. Everything happened as it should. My spirit needed the good quality time with my daughter in the morning, my body needed the long nap, and my soul needed the family connection in the afternoon. And I realized this because I lived in the moment. Every time a plan changed, I went with the flow and didn't fight it. And I got to enjoy these darling moments.

As a result of being present in my life, I also came to the realization that the pressure I was putting on myself to get the next book out was causing me to not be present and all kinds of stress. After much soul-searching I decided to take a real break from the writing and focus on my priorities for the rest of the year. Urban Goddess Mama-to-Be release date has been pushed out to the Spring 2015 and my fiction writing has been paused until after the holidays. I feel really good about this decision.

Being present is changing my life in so many ways for the better, because today, this very moment, is all we really have.

Namaste,

Melania

PS. There's a great 21-day Meditation Challenge going on right now. Click here for more information.

The Art of Extreme Self-care Chapter 11

Hello and welcome to The Art of Extreme Self-care postpartum style. For those of you who are new to my blog, last December I announced I would be doing a read-a-long of The Art of Extreme Self-care by Cheryl Richardson and sharing with you how I applied the principles of the book in a postpartum setting.  We will be focusing on one chapter a month and while I try to post the first Monday of the month, that doesn't always happen. Last chapter was about dealing with anger and speaking your truth. Let's dive into chapter 11.

Chapter overview: Waking up

What I got out of the chapter: "Many of us lose sight of the things that make us truly happy." The first line of the chapter couldn't be more true with motherhood. Once the baby arrives into our lives, everything we do is to make sure our child is cared for, loved, and protected. We bust our butts keeping the house running as smoothly as possible and we put ourselves last. Doing things for our own pleasure becomes something of antiquity and often times we lose sight ourselves. I cannot stress the importance of finding those pleasures in life. They feed the well so you can feed your family's well.

Treasure Hunt (looking for hints or objects that appeal to you). 
I know I completely lost myself after my daughter was born. The things I used to enjoy no longer interested me. I didn't know what I liked anymore. One of my deepest pleasures was getting lost in a good book. But I had hard time reading what I used to like (paranormal and fantasy). So after reading this chapter on discovering your hidden passion, I went to the Kindle store and looked for free or .99 cent books and downloaded different books that looked interesting. 

Once you find an object, do something.
Next time I had a good chunk of time to myself, I scanned my personal library and picked out a book that sounded good. It turned out to be Brenda Novak's When We Touch (A Whiskey Creek novella)I completely fell in love with her Whiskey Creek series and have been reading them in order as time allows.
My writing has changed because of this. The dark paranormal stories are still there, but right now I'm enjoying writing lighthearted contemporary romance, something I didn't expect I'd like. So what about you? What hidden passions are waiting to be discovered?

Here we go again...

Dear Readers,

It's been a LONG time since I've blogged about stuff. I've been behind on the Art of Extreme Self-care Read-a-long and other things. Sure, I can name a slew of excuses for my slacking like I work full time, a mommy to a very active toddler, and working on Urban Goddess Mama-to-be  (coming out next month). While these are very valid, they, unfortunately, are not the real reason I've been tardy with my blogging.

Most of you know my struggle with postpartum depression and how I've been able to conquer the challenges brought on by this debilitated disorder. Over the last few months I've done super well and was starting to feel like my normal self. I even started writing fiction again- something that hasn't happened for two years. Been sleeping real well, too. Besides the occasional down day that everyone experiences once in a while, I feel felt great.

Stone ledge by stone ledge, I was almost out of the dark well, when I slipped and fell right back into the waters below. But this time it was different.

Back in August, my OB advised me to stay on Zoloft at least until after I weaned my daughter and my hormones balanced out again. She said that I might have another bought of depression. Also my fibromyalgia started to flare up again, which I know brings on depression if I don't control the pain. So I visited my acupuncturist and also did some self-care.

A little over three weeks ago, my daughter nursed for the last time. She'd been slowly decreasing her request for "mama milk" over the last month. As liberating as weaning can be, I felt sad for loosing one of my favorite ways to connect with my daughter. Breastfeeding had been the single bond that made me feel like I'd done something right when I went through a very dark period last year.

A week ago, my shoulder started to hurt so bad that I couldn't sleep. I visited my acupuncturist again. Two days later I woke up to find that the black fog I'd fought had finally settled in. Again. I felt pissed. Everything my daughter did brought rage. And of course, she woke up in a bad mood too.

What made the situation worse was we were both at the beach with my goddess ladies staying in a gorgeous house in a perfect location. Yet here I was feeling like scum on the bottom of sewer worker's shoe. Most of the ladies were sleeping so I decided to take my daughter down to the beach because she was starting to throw a tantrum and I didn't want to wake anyone.

Things got worse once outside. She started to scream and very dark thoughts filled my head- the kind that I hadn't had in a long time. The imagines that played through my head scared the shit out of me, because I didn't trust myself not to act on them in the state I was in.

I quickly grabbed her and went back to the car. I figured she'd be safer in the car seat and if I drove around maybe she'd fall asleep and that would allow me to deal with my demons. After an hour of driving, sleep didn't seem to be on the menu. My back up plan when I get this way had always been my parents. They were an hour away and I thought about taking her there, but I needed to get back to the house to get her things.

When I returned, everyone was up. My girl went off to play with one of the other kids who came along as well. Pure exhaustion hit me like a tsunami. All I wanted was to crawl into bed and check out. The fatigue was so great I didn't even have enough energy to ask the other women to watch my girl for a couple of hours so I could sleep. I just crawled into bed and passed out.

Two hours later, my daughter came into my room and wanted to crawl in bed with me. This time when I woke up I felt more human. Bright sunlight flooded my room, warming my bed. We snuggled together, while she told me what she'd been doing with her new friends. Then she turned to me and said, "Mama sleepin'. Mama tired. I love you, Mama."

Tears filled my eyes as she threw her arms around my neck. "I love you too, baby," I whispered back. The ladies had fed her, changed her diaper, and made sure she was cared for so I could rest and care for myself.

The rest of the day turned out to be a magical day filled with crafts, play, drinks, food, and lots of laughter. As the day progressed, I thought about the dark place I had been in that morning and how quickly things had turned bad, yet they changed for the better just as quickly. Depression is nothing to mess with.

 I'm so thankful for my goddess ladies and the support they gave me when I needed it the most. I'm thankful for my OB who warned me this could happen and so I knew what was happening. But I also want to thank you, dear readers, for your support and understanding. You rock.

The Art of Extreme Self-care Chapter 10

Hello and welcome to The Art of Extreme Self-care postpartum style. For those of you who are new to my blog, last December I announced I would be doing a read-a-long of The Art of Extreme Self-care by Cheryl Richardson and sharing with you how I applied the principles of the book in a postpartum setting.  We will be focusing on one chapter a month and while I try to post the first Monday of the month, that doesn't always happen. Last chapter was about getting a tune-up. Let's dive into chapter 10.

Chapter Overview: Anger

What I got out of it: This chapter is about speaking your truth and sticking up for yourself. When Boo Creature was about 1 1/2 months old I went out to a restaurant with my goddess ladies for lunch. The waitress kept doting over my daughter. At first I didn't mind. Who doesn't love a new baby? But then she started stroking her head while I was holding her and that make me feel very uneasy.

1. She was a complete stranger. 2. My daughter was still pretty small/newbornish. 3. She wreaked of tobacco smoke.

When our food arrived, my lady friends took turns holding Boo Creature so I could eat a meal in peace. I didn't mind them touching her because they were all dear friends and I knew them. Just as I took a huge bite out of my garden burger, the waitress showed up at our table again. This time when went over and kissed my baby's hand and head. I was stunned. Anger bubbled inside. How dare she take the liberty of kissing my baby? Didn't she know any baby etiquette? Even my friends were shocked. Next time she checked on us, the friend holding the baby turned away from her when she reached for the baby again. I took the baby back, the waitress tried again to touch Boo and I too turned away and out of her reach.

This incident happened long before I read The Art of Extreme Self-care. And I wished I'd spoken up the first time she touched my baby. Instead I froze and the anger didn't taste so good.

Here's the simple approach Cheryl talks about in the chapter to deal with situations like the one above:

1. Stop and Acknowledge what just happened. My girlfriends and I did notice the waitress touching her and we talked about it. I didn't stuff it in.

2. Take a deep break and state what's on your mind - with grace & love if possible. That's what I wish I would have done. At the time, I know I was too afraid I'd offend her by telling her not to touch my baby and she'd do something to our food.

3. Don't try to change the other person. I could have said something like, "I know you really like babies and want to show your affection, but she's pretty new. I would appreciate you refraining from touching her. Thank you."

4. Walk away. Stepping away to regroup is always a good thing.

The Art of Extreme Self-Care Chapter 9

Hello and welcome to The Art of Extreme Self-care postpartum style. For those of you who are new to my blog, last December I announced I would be doing a read-a-long of The Art of Extreme Self-care by Cheryl Richardson and sharing with you how I applied the principles of the book in a postpartum setting.  We will be focusing on one chapter a month and while I try to post the first Monday of the month, that doesn't always happen. Last chapter was about protecting your sensitivity. Let's dive into chapter 9.

Chapter overview: Time for a tune-up.

What I got out of the chapter: Taking charge of your health. As a mom, it's so easy to up your health last as you focus on caring for your family, but being healthy is vital to being able to give the attention and care you family needs. Those routine dental cleaning appointments or annual exams get put on the back burner. Unless something is seriously wrong, a trip to the doctor's office is delayed. But not just medical things, stuff like getting a massage or pedicure and visiting the acupuncturist takes a back seat.

When I first read the chapter last year, I was going through one of the low points of my postpartum depression.

1. Taking charge of my health. I did this by reading up on postpartum depression and ways to combat it naturally. I wanted to know what type of medication would be safe while breastfeeding and the side effects. 

2. Listen to my body. I did a check in with my body. At the time my neck and shoulders were tight and painful as I had a flare up of fibromyaliga. There was a spot of psoriasis on the back of my scalp that needed looked at. I wasn't sleeping very well. And I was out of shape. My perineal area was still sore and I still had pretty bad pelvic pain.

That month I started pelvic physical therapy, scheduled regular visits with the acupuncturist and massage therapist, saw a dermatologist for the psoriasis, and talked to my doctor about what was safe to take that would help me sleep better while breastfeeding. I also started to exercise at the gym regularly. Between massage, acupuncture, exercise, and a natural supplements, I started to sleep better and feel better within a week.The tension in my neck and shoulders melted away.

3. Choosing Health Partners, not Parents. I want someone who I can work with in improving my health not just tell me what to do and expecting me follow their orders without question. I absolutely love my OB-Gyn, she is someone I feel very comfortable with and discussing very personal issues without feeling like she's judging me. My acupuncturist and massage therapist are the same. We are all partners in my health. We are equals.

4. Finding the right Emotional Support. This right here is what saved my veggie bacon during the worse periods of postpartum depression. I am so blessed to have a powerful group of women, my Spiral Wise sisters, who have been my rock through some of my darkest moments. I also have a couple of soul sisters who I know I can call any time of day or night and they'll be there for me.

5. Know what you need & when you need to know it. I'm so thankful that in this age of technology when I have a test done, I can log in to the patient portal and see my results, but I always ask when the results should be available, so I'm not constantly logging in to check.

Every six months I go through these 5 steps and take the appropriate actions to ensure that my health is optimal, because I want to be there for my daughter. A healthy mama means a healthy home.