Monday, November 10, 2014

Being Present


Happy Monday Readers!

About 2 weeks ago, I had a reading done by a very intuitive friend who I hadn't seen in years. At the time of the reading I had feelings of frustration, anxiety, restlessness, and indecision dancing inside me like a drunken frat party were I was the only one sober. My next book edits came in late due to a communication error which added to the stress. I couldn't focus on work or writing. When my family was together on the weekend, my mind was far away in another land and lifetime.

Therefore it wasn't a surprise when the first thing my friend said was I needed to be present and that until I focused my energy on living in the now, all the dreams and goals I'd been struggling towards would only be pushed out farther. As soon as she said this I thought, "duh." I'd written about this in both of my books and constantly talked about it, but somewhere along the way, I lost my step and fell back onto the endless treadmill of worry, constantly thinking about my next book, the next project to tackle at my day job, where I'm going to send Boo Creature to preschool next year, when are we going to relocate our family to our dream location, if I should go back to school and complete my bachelors degree, and the list goes on.

Because my mind was everywhere but here, I was missing some of life's precious moments- something I didn't want. This was my wake up call and I answered. Her words resonated with every cell of my body. She gave me many insights and ideas of ways to get my life back on track.

That night I vowed to take a step back, clear my calendar (including my mental one) of things that really weren't important and set my priorities straight: 1. My health (mind, body, & soul), 2. My family, 3. My job, and 4. My dreams and goals. Everything else comes after that.

I also vowed to let life flow and stop fighting the events that ruin my well thought out plans. A week ago the promise to myself came to the test. My plan for that Sunday was: sleep in, yoga, lunch & nap with Boo, go to Samhain goddess circle, and family evening time. The time change also took place that day as well and of course my darling little daughter didn't get the memo as she woke up at 5 am, new time. Hubby hadn't slept well and he wasn't feeling good, so I let him go back to bed. Suffice to say, I didn't get to go to yoga that morning which made me sad since I was really looking forward to the class. Boo was in a mood too so I ended up putting her down for an early nap and I joined her for a good two hour snooze.

When we woke up we had some unexpected out-of-town family stop by. The kids played together and they were having so much fun I didn't want to tell them I needed to leave and break up their good time. Plus I'd run out of energy by this point to fight. By the time they left it was long after the goddess circle had already started so I wasn't going to make it there either. My plans had been ruined. However at the day's end, I did get some great family time with hubby and Boo.

Even though my day didn't turn out the way I had wanted I didn't mind at all. Everything happened as it should. My spirit needed the good quality time with my daughter in the morning, my body needed the long nap, and my soul needed the family connection in the afternoon. And I realized this because I lived in the moment. Every time a plan changed, I went with the flow and didn't fight it. And I got to enjoy these darling moments.












As a result of being present in my life, I also came to the realization that the pressure I was putting on myself to get the next book out was causing me to not be present and all kinds of stress. After much soul-searching I decided to take a real break from the writing and focus on my priorities for the rest of the year. Urban Goddess Mama-to-Be release date has been pushed out to the Spring 2015 and my fiction writing has been paused until after the holidays. I feel really good about this decision.

Being present is changing my life in so many ways for the better, because today, this very moment, is all we really have.

Namaste,

Melania

PS. There's a great 21-day Meditation Challenge going on right now. Click here for more information.

Sunday, November 2, 2014

The Art of Extreme Self-care Chapter 11

Hello and welcome to The Art of Extreme Self-care postpartum style. For those of you who are new to my blog, last December I announced I would be doing a read-a-long of The Art of Extreme Self-care by Cheryl Richardson and sharing with you how I applied the principles of the book in a postpartum setting.  We will be focusing on one chapter a month and while I try to post the first Monday of the month, that doesn't always happen. Last chapter was about dealing with anger and speaking your truth. Let's dive into chapter 11.

Chapter overview: Waking up

What I got out of the chapter: "Many of us lose sight of the things that make us truly happy." The first line of the chapter couldn't be more true with motherhood. Once the baby arrives into our lives, everything we do is to make sure our child is cared for, loved, and protected. We bust our butts keeping the house running as smoothly as possible and we put ourselves last. Doing things for our own pleasure becomes something of antiquity and often times we lose sight ourselves. I cannot stress the importance of finding those pleasures in life. They feed the well so you can feed your family's well.

Treasure Hunt (looking for hints or objects that appeal to you). 
I know I completely lost myself after my daughter was born. The things I used to enjoy no longer interested me. I didn't know what I liked anymore. One of my deepest pleasures was getting lost in a good book. But I had hard time reading what I used to like (paranormal and fantasy). So after reading this chapter on discovering your hidden passion, I went to the Kindle store and looked for free or .99 cent books and downloaded different books that looked interesting. 

Once you find an object, do something.
Next time I had a good chunk of time to myself, I scanned my personal library and picked out a book that sounded good. It turned out to be Brenda Novak's When We Touch (A Whiskey Creek novella)I completely fell in love with her Whiskey Creek series and have been reading them in order as time allows.
My writing has changed because of this. The dark paranormal stories are still there, but right now I'm enjoying writing lighthearted contemporary romance, something I didn't expect I'd like. So what about you? What hidden passions are waiting to be discovered?