Break time

Hello lovely readers,

After much thought I have decided to take a break from blogging while I'm in school. It's too much right now. This working full-time, going to school full-time, and being mom is making this mama cray-cray. My health comes first, than my family, followed by work, and school. With my mind pulled into so many directions I feel I can't create the quality content I would like to put out there.

The last few posts I've done here and on Portland Moms Blog have been about self-care. Me taking time off is the self-care I need right now. I can't commit to anything else until I have walked down that aisle with my diploma.

There are a couple of posts I have already committed to for Portland Moms Blog and then will be taking a hiatus from there too. In May I will be at Birth Without Fear Portland Meet-up with the gorgeous Sarah Swofford and her fantastic book From Ouch to Ahh, a guide to sex post childbirth. It's a treat you won't want to miss. I will be posting a book review soon.

Thank you so much for understanding. I will be back. Promise. Meanwhile go hug someone you love and give them a big wet kiss while you are at it.

xoxox,

Melania

Vacation

2015 came to an end while we were vacationing in the Olympic Peninsula for a week. We spent 7 days in a house right on the water, looking out toward the San Juan Islands. The view took my breath every time looked out the window. It didn't matter if we had rain, sunshine, or grey clouds, the scenery delivered magic every day.

I needed this vacation. After spending 3.5 months working full-time, taking 16 college credits, writing part-time, AND being a mom, my whole being needed a week to sleep in, hang out in pj's, watch the marine life frolic in the water twenty yards away from the glassed-in porch, walk on the beach, read, play games on my phone, do yoga, meditate, play with my daughter, snuggle with my husband, and do whole lot of nothing.

Last summer we took a week-long similar vacation on the Oregon Coast and we realized then that we needed to do this every year and with me in school, twice/year was absolutely necessary.

This week off was the perfect ending to my #31daysofselfcare, best way to start off 2016, and get myself pumped for another year. Here's a few photos I took. Enjoy and Happy New Year!

Our beach

Seals

Sunset

Heart Rock

Stone tower

Building sand castles with Boo

Olympic Game Farm

Evening view of Mt. Baker

In Victoria, BC (Boo's 1st time out of the USA)

The Empress

Bald Eagle

Frost Magic

Water fowl

Last morning view

Last days of Summer

Hi ya'll!

Welcome back to Urban Goddess Revealed. So many things have changed in my personal and professional goals over the summer. From the beginning, my goal for this blog was to empower women, moms in particular, but really all females in general. The world is a hard place and though woman have come a long way, there is still so much more work to do in regards to equality, balance, and creating.

The world we are living in today is not the same as our mother's or grandmother's. Roles are constantly changing for both men and women. Society demands keep growing. The modern mother should be able to keep a home, raise her children, succeed in her career, and be the gracious doting wife, mother, and supportive member of the community. I say bull shit. Living to those kind of expectations is ridiculous. I tried once (twice, okay many times) and crashed hard. It's just not sustainable. Yes, we women are powerful, strong, and amazing creatures, but we still have our limits. Those limits change from day to day and we need to be aware of them. And like Elizabeth Gilbert said in one of her interviews, women today don't have roll models to look up to as did our mothers and grandmothers, so we keep peeking into each other's lives to see what is working and not. That's why I started this blog, so you could have a peek into my life and see if there is something I'm doing that might help you in yours. Heavens know, I'm not saint or have it all figured out. Far from it. We are all treading new ground. We are in this story together.

This summer as I took time off for my family and myself, I learned many things about myself.

• I'm a people-pleaser. Half of my problems stem from this. Life is too short to waste time on people who don't want to rise above their situation and live a better life. Going through a heart-breaking situation this summer has lead me to care less about what people's opinions of me are. I do my best to be kind to everyone around me, if that's not enough for you, well too bad.
• I crave financial freedom. Last winter I discovered Kate Northrup's Money: a Love Story and it has changed my life. While on our 10 year anniversary vacation at the beach, sitting on the porch, looking out over the ocean, with a glass of wine in my hand, I realized that I wanted more of this. In order to have more of this, I needed to make a few sacrifices in the next couple of years to get myself in a position to have what I desire. Being able to enjoy more time with my family in my favorite setting requires financial freedom. The first step for me, enroll in school to finish my bachelor's degree, which I did while on vacation. Second, start a business that will grow bringing in residual income. I've already started this step as I am now a published author of 2 books with more on the way.
• I need to take better care of myself. Two years ago when I started my battle with postpartum depression, I learned the importance of self-care which lead me to starting this blog. I walked my talk until about 8 months ago when I fell off the bandwagon flat on my face in the mud pit. This summer dealing with family issues, job stress, and yet another bout of depression really put things in perspective again. And since I started the bachelor's completion program last week, self-care has now become a very strong component if I'm going to succeed in my higher education endeavors.
• I want to add value to this world. Therefore in the next few months to a year, I will focus this blog on self-care, because this is a valuable topic all woman, and men too, can use more of. In this day and age of technology and the constant rush to get somewhere, it's easy to forget to take care of the mind, body, and spirit. When we take care of ourselves, we can bring more value in the world around us.

 So with all that, starting September 1, I will be posting once a month on the first of the month on a topic related to self-care. With full-time school and work on top of writing, this is all I can do right now. I love to write, but I want to make sure that what I'm putting out there is valuable to you, therefore I'm limiting my blogging to one a month. Quality instead of quantity.

I don't know about you, I'm super excited about arrival of fall. This summer has been very stressful and hot and now I'm ready for some cold weather, rain, cider, pumpkin lattes, and crisp mornings. Don't get me wrong, I really enjoyed summer. How could I not?  My summer was full of concerts, beach trips, and family time. Yes, this summer was good, stressful, but really good.

But that doesn't take away from the fact I'm ready for my favorite season of the year- Fall.

Smartphone Apps for New Moms

In this day and age of technology there are apps for everything! Here are a list of free apps* that have made my life much easier:

1. iBaby. This app tracks all the activities your pediatrician will ask you in the first months of a baby's life, like feeding, peeing, pooping, and sleep. It also gives you week to week general information of where your baby should be on the growth and development. This app was a life saver for me, because I could never remember if it'd been two hours since I'd last nursed or how many pee diapers I'd changed in one day. This is a must have for all new mamas.
2. White Noise. Sleep gets majorly disrupted when baby arrives. Anything to help you get back to sleep between feedings or for a nap is golden. I used this app so many times for myself, but also for my daughter. It proved to be a lifesaver when I traveled with my daughter and she needed a nap. This allowed her to nap anywhere.
3. 7 Minute Workout. Once you're approved by your medical provider to begin exercising, this app is a great way to sneak in a workout when you feel like you can't hit the gym or don't have time to take an exercise class. It doesn't sound like much, but the first time I tried the 7-minute routine, I had my ass handed to me...
4. Skip Deep. This app is a great tool to checking how safe are the baby products and cosmetics you may be using. You can scan the bar code on the product and it will tell you give you a rating on the level of toxicity. We want to protect our families!
5. Red Cross First Aid. There are many Red Cross apps for each disaster, but downloading the First Aid important. Sometimes when an emergency situation comes up, having a quick reference can save a live. Since I live in earthquake country, I have the earthquake app on my phone. It notifies me when there is seismic activity in my area and if there should be a big one, it will notify where the nearest shelter is to my location. Plus Red Cross offers tips and how to plan for emergencies. Never hurts to be prepared.
6. Netflix. When you are stuck in the rocking chair with a sleeping baby at your breast, you'll be happy you've got access to your favorite shows.
7. Kindle or Nook. For the same reason you need Netflix, an e-reader app is a sanity saver for a new mama. No pages to turn and perfect for one hand use. 

 Go forth and be smart with your smartphone!

*All the links are listed for Android phones because that is what I have, but these are also available for iphone too. 

Captured Beauty

The last week has been really hard on me. Been functioning on 4-6 hours of sleep for almost two weeks while dealing with final edits for Urban Goddess Mama-to-Be (coming out at the end of this month!, working full-time through a new database conversion, and life in general. When life gets crazy like this, it's hard to remember the good stuff. Thank goodness my husband is a photographer and captured these precious moments of beauty.
Half of the time I feel like the shittiest mom on the planet, but then I see these pictures and am encouraged. Maybe I'm not so terrible. They inspire me to be the best that I can and not worry about the rest. As Mother's Day approaches my heart swells with love when I see the captured beauty in these photos. Enjoy.

Easter at My House

 Growing up in a conservative Christian home, we need didn't really celebrate Easter except the church services commemorating the death and resurrection of Christ. We never did any of the fun stuff like egg hunts and Easter Baskets. I always envied the neighborhood kids traipsing around their yards looking for brightly-colored eggs. Then I grew up, left home and my religious upbringing.
Over the years the holiday has evolved from not really caring about it to "oh, now we have a child and she might enjoy some of these activities." But I didn't want to introduce her to all the candy and clutter of trinkets the stores push on customers. Then I read this. Bloody, freaking brilliant.

Last year & before I read the above mentioned article, my daughter got her first Easter Basket. Bunny (which she still plays with), puzzle, book, water bottle (still uses), and mandarins (one of her favorite fruits). She'd barely turned one and I wasn't about fill the basket with candy. These were things she could use.

This year I kept basic again. Coloring book, crayons, bubbles, links for jewelery making, and surprise eggs (used for the hunt). All except basket came from the Dollar Tree. I filled the plastic eggs with her favorite snacks: Joe's O's (from Trader Joe's), cashews, vitamin gummy bears, AND a hand full of pastel-colored mint chips.

I hid the eggs out on our balcony and the hunt was on after breakfast. Oh my word. I think I had more fun watching the search for eggs than her. Seeing her eyes light up and listening to her squeal of joy every time she spotted one, brought the biggest smile to my face.

The whole day she played with the eggs, opening and closing them. She ate most of the treats except for the mint candy drops. Eventually she tasted them and said they were good but she preferred to play with them over eating. Fine by me, kid. When she wasn't playing with the eggs she was outside blowing bubbles. In between, she'd take a few moments here and there to color or create a chain of hearts, stars, and flowers.
All this fun for under $5. Who says you need to break the bank for Easter? This holiday is quickly becoming one of my favorites. For me, Easter is all about the newness of life and rebirth. Spring is truly a joyous time of year, so why not celebrate?

Working moms and exercise

"I'm a mom, I don't have TIME to exercise." I hear this all the time. In fact, I used to use the same excuse, that is until postpartum depression set in and I needed to do something about it pronto. Exercise has been one of my top depression busters ever since.

The truth of the matter is, you can exercise and it doesn't matter how busy you are as a mom. You can always find the time just like you find time to go pee and eat. The body needs movement just like it needs air, water, and nutrition. Some of the benefits of exercise:

• Improved mood
• Decreased Depression
• Stress relief
• Cardiovascular Fitness
• Increased Metabolism
• Better Sleep
• Improved Well-being

With that being said, I totally get the mentality behind non-exercise. Motivation plays a key factor. It's so hard to get moving when you don't FEEL like exercising. For me, changing the way I view exercise helped me develop a more regular practice of daily movement and I'm here to tell you even if you work a full-time job you can still find time for exercise. Here are five simple ways to add exercise to your super busy mama life:
 

• Walking/running  (stroller) Take 15 minutes to go outside and walk! If you are a runner, you can do that too. I started training for a 5K last fall by taking my daughter in the jogging stroller for a 15 minute run 3 times a week.
• Mommy and me yoga. There are plenty of classes out there, but also videos and books. Check out your local library.
• Join a gym with a daycare. This is a great way to get exercise and mommy time in one setting.
• Dance for 5-10 minutes to your favorite tunes with or/without baby.
• Stairs. I work at a seven-floor hospital and when I'm in the office, I take a 15 minute break and just go up and down the entire stair case several times. 
• Hike it Baby. Great way to connect with other moms and get some exercise in. They have plenty of hikes on the weekends for working moms.
• 7-minute workout app. There are several out there to choose from, most of them free. These apps are awesome because they will take you through an entire workout including pushups, squats, and crunches in 7 minutes! Who doesn't have SEVEN minutes to devote to their health?

As you can see, there are plenty of different ways to get moving throughout the day.You need this girlfriend!

A Working Mom's Pantry

I'm vegetarian. So is my family. And the number one question I get asked is, "What do you eat?" Sometimes I fantasize answering, "Oh, you know, water with bread. And some grass with some sprouted seeds." But my usual answer is "Food." After giving me a "duh" look the questioner wants more specific answers and I'm more than happy to share.

Today however, I'm going to give you a sneak peek into my pantry and what I keep stocked at all times. While I'm big on cutting out processed foods, I'm going to keep it real because as a working mom, I don't have time to slave away in the kitchen. To be honest with you, cooking is one of my least favorite activities. Yet feeding my daughter good organic food free of chemicals and preservatives is super important to me.
So here are a random sampling of foods I keep on hand from snacks to quick meals:

Breakfast:

Nature's Path Organic Frozen Waffles (not pictured). I usually pick the ones that have extra protein from whole grains. These are great because you can just pop them into the toaster and a minute later you have a hot waffle ready to be devoured by a hungry little toddler.

Stonyfield Organic Plain Greek Yogurt (not pictured). Most flavored yogurts are loaded with sugar, that's why I choose the plain version. Why feed your child unnecessary sugar? To add flavor and sweetness, I chop in some fresh fruit or berries and add a teaspoon or less of organic maple syrup to a cup of plain yogurt. My daughter loves it and it's a great way to get some extra protein in her. Plus yogurt keeps her regular, if you know what I mean. *wink* Happy baby gut, happy mamma.

Bob's Red Mill Organic Quick Oats. Add water and microwave for a minute. Throw in some frozen berries (which will thaw out within seconds), cinnamon, and a little maple syrup. Bam! Instant healthy breakfast. I usually put in some protein and vitamin powder for extra nutrients.

Immaculate Buttermilk Biscuits. Okay, these aren't the healthiest option in fridge, but they don't have many of the preservatives and artificial chemicals as the mainstream brands. And it makes for a quick breakfast addition in a pinch. 

Lunch:
For my daughter's lunch, I often pack dinner left overs if there are any. I also add fresh fruit, crackers, cheese, and a Mama Chia pack.

I try to always keep sandwich fixings in the house too. My go-to sandwich bread is Dave's Killer Bread, because it's organic and made locally. 

Dinners:
Lundburg Organic Rice and Bean meals. They take about 30 minutes to cook. I throw in some frozen veggies and sprinkle a little cheese for some extra protein.

Back to Nature Shells and Cheese (not pictured). 15 to 20 minutes prep and cook time. Again I add extra cheese and veggies to make it a balanced meal.

Quorn Chick'n Nuggets. I always keep these in the freezer because I can add them to any meal for extra protein or throw them in my daughter's lunch for school.

Snacks:

Whole Foods 365 Organic Crackers. They have great options to traditional Cheese'its, Ritz, and other snack crackers.

Earth's Best Toddler Biscuits. My daughter loves these. They're organic and come in two biscuit mini packs that are easy to throw in my purse, her backpack, and in the car for a last minute snack. These puppies have saved me from many meltdowns in public because someone got hungry and cranky.

Plum Organic's Mighty Four Toddler Snack Packs. This is another staple I keep with me at all time. Anytime I'm going out with my girl, I throw a pack in my purse "just in case" she doesn't like whatever food we are eating at a restaurant or if we get delayed between meals. Also a great way to sneak in some veggies.

In my freezer, I always keep: Cascadian Farms Organic Veggie Mix, Broccoli Florets, Mixed Berries, Blueberries, and Raspberries. Sometimes, I buy the Whole Foods 365 Organic brand when they are on sale.

In the fridge (organic): carrots and cucumbers for snacks, cheese, eggs, yogurt, kefir, and fresh greens (for green smoothies). And I try to keep a variety of fresh fruit that are in season. Right it's apples, bananas, and citrus fruits. 


There you have it. Hope you enjoyed a peek into this working mama's pantry.

A Day in the Life of a Working Mom

Many of my friends and family have asked how I was able to write a book, work full-time, and raise a toddler last year. Well, let me give you a little peek into my life.

This is what my typical mornings look like.

My alarm is set to go off at 5:45, but most mornings I'm up way before then thanks to this neurotic, OCD feline who likes to sit in front of my door and yowl at random times throughout the night.

He's so loud, I'm seriously surprised I don't see zombies from the nearest cemetery walking around outside our condo complex or that our neighbors haven't fired their shotgun through the wall in the middle of the night.

Any who, my work starts at 6am. I'm one of those lucky moms who gets to work from home and while that sounds like heaven, it can also be hell. Don't get me wrong, if given the chance to work in the office or at home, I'd chose home every time. The hell I'm talking about is when my dear daughter decides she needs to wake up when mommy does. That means two hours of working with at very busy toddler in the house before I drop her off at Montessori daycare.

When she does sleep in, I get so much shit done. Some days I'm blown away how I can be so productive in one hour. When she finally wakes up, we go potty first and then I set her up with some breakfast (usually cold cereal, fruit, and yogurt or an omelet) and Daniel Tiger's Neighborhood. While she eats and watches her show, I get some more work done and then I take a morning break so I can drop her off at school.

The rest of the day I try to make up for the time I spent getting her ready for school. Around 3:30 I clock out, log off my remote desktop, and go pick her up.

After some errands, we come home and it's time for dinner. She watches another episode or two of Daniel Tiger. (If you hear me breaking into random jingles like "If you're feeling mad, that you want to roar, take a deep breath and count to four. One. Two. Three. Four," you'll know where this madness is coming from.)

We enjoy eating supper together, then it's bath time, story time, and off to bed. After she's asleep, I come out and write for an hour or so before I go join her in the land of nod around 9. Some night's I'm so bloody tired, I pass out before she does.

And that's how my days usually go, except for the days I need to go into the office. Then daddy has to drag his ass out of bed and take care of munchkin. (He works late nights so that's why he's usually not available in the morning unless I absolutely cannot handle the demanding little girl).

Somewhere in there, I manage to shower, brush my teeth, and exercise. Some days none of them happen.

Now, it's your turn. I want to hear how you working mamas get through your day. And go.

PS And papas too. :)

A New Year

Happy New Year!


I am so excited about this year!!! Last year we did a read along of The Art of Extreme Self-care by Cheryl Richardson, this year instead of doing a read along, I will be posting book reviews of parenting, pregnancy, postpartum, and inspirational books I read or am currently reading.

I also want to focus more on the working mom and share little insights and tips I've learned along the way. There are so many mommy blogs out there but I haven't found many focusing on the mamas who have to work outside their home full-time.

In the Spring (April or May), Urban Goddess Mama-to-be, will be coming out. Those months I'll be talking more about pregnancy stuff leading up to the book release.

In May I'll be attending the Birth Without Fear Portland Meet-up. Super excited to be a part of this event. If you haven't heard of Birth Without Fear, please check them out. Talk about empowering women! More to come on that event.

I will be taking the summer off to work on some fiction writing and enjoy my 10 year wedding anniversary with my family.

In the Fall, I plan on blogging about self-care for women (all women not just moms) and creating rituals to bring magic into everyday life.

Hold on tight, it's going to be a great year!

Much love,

Melania

Being Present

Happy Monday Readers!

About 2 weeks ago, I had a reading done by a very intuitive friend who I hadn't seen in years. At the time of the reading I had feelings of frustration, anxiety, restlessness, and indecision dancing inside me like a drunken frat party were I was the only one sober. My next book edits came in late due to a communication error which added to the stress. I couldn't focus on work or writing. When my family was together on the weekend, my mind was far away in another land and lifetime.

Therefore it wasn't a surprise when the first thing my friend said was I needed to be present and that until I focused my energy on living in the now, all the dreams and goals I'd been struggling towards would only be pushed out farther. As soon as she said this I thought, "duh." I'd written about this in both of my books and constantly talked about it, but somewhere along the way, I lost my step and fell back onto the endless treadmill of worry, constantly thinking about my next book, the next project to tackle at my day job, where I'm going to send Boo Creature to preschool next year, when are we going to relocate our family to our dream location, if I should go back to school and complete my bachelors degree, and the list goes on.

Because my mind was everywhere but here, I was missing some of life's precious moments- something I didn't want. This was my wake up call and I answered. Her words resonated with every cell of my body. She gave me many insights and ideas of ways to get my life back on track.

That night I vowed to take a step back, clear my calendar (including my mental one) of things that really weren't important and set my priorities straight: 1. My health (mind, body, & soul), 2. My family, 3. My job, and 4. My dreams and goals. Everything else comes after that.

I also vowed to let life flow and stop fighting the events that ruin my well thought out plans. A week ago the promise to myself came to the test. My plan for that Sunday was: sleep in, yoga, lunch & nap with Boo, go to Samhain goddess circle, and family evening time. The time change also took place that day as well and of course my darling little daughter didn't get the memo as she woke up at 5 am, new time. Hubby hadn't slept well and he wasn't feeling good, so I let him go back to bed. Suffice to say, I didn't get to go to yoga that morning which made me sad since I was really looking forward to the class. Boo was in a mood too so I ended up putting her down for an early nap and I joined her for a good two hour snooze.

When we woke up we had some unexpected out-of-town family stop by. The kids played together and they were having so much fun I didn't want to tell them I needed to leave and break up their good time. Plus I'd run out of energy by this point to fight. By the time they left it was long after the goddess circle had already started so I wasn't going to make it there either. My plans had been ruined. However at the day's end, I did get some great family time with hubby and Boo.

Even though my day didn't turn out the way I had wanted I didn't mind at all. Everything happened as it should. My spirit needed the good quality time with my daughter in the morning, my body needed the long nap, and my soul needed the family connection in the afternoon. And I realized this because I lived in the moment. Every time a plan changed, I went with the flow and didn't fight it. And I got to enjoy these darling moments.

As a result of being present in my life, I also came to the realization that the pressure I was putting on myself to get the next book out was causing me to not be present and all kinds of stress. After much soul-searching I decided to take a real break from the writing and focus on my priorities for the rest of the year. Urban Goddess Mama-to-Be release date has been pushed out to the Spring 2015 and my fiction writing has been paused until after the holidays. I feel really good about this decision.

Being present is changing my life in so many ways for the better, because today, this very moment, is all we really have.

Namaste,

Melania

PS. There's a great 21-day Meditation Challenge going on right now. Click here for more information.

10 Things My Wild Toddler Has Said or Done Recently

The last two weeks have been part amusing, horrifying, and heart-warming- sometimes all three at the same time. Some of these things are so awesome I had to share. You might want to go use the restroom before we get started. Here we go:

1. While eating outside at one the sidewalk cafes in town: Boo Creature proceeds to wave and smile at every male human that walks by, including several homeless bums, while ignoring all the females. Hubby will be buying a shotgun soon.

2. When not at daycare, continues to mention a boy named "Cooper" from school. She's not even two years old!

3. "Mommy work" is the first thing she says when she wakes up and I'm, well, working in the office. And now she says this every time I'm not out in the living room/kitchen area with her or if I'm on the computer. Maybe mommy works to much?

4. Everything that Boo Creature eats must now be shared with Pooh, her favorite stuffed bear, including blackberries, bananas, yogurt, mac n' cheese, spaghetti, oatmeal, and well you get the point... any good stain-removing tips welcome.

5. She randomly yells "Mama!" with a tone of sheer excitement and runs over hugging my legs or any other body part she can wrap her arms around. Sometimes she adds, "I miss you." *reaches for tissues*

6. "I help" is her newest response when she sees me doing anything around the house. "Why yes, baby, you can help. Here's a mop and some floor cleaner. Knock yourself out. And while you're at it throw some laundry in the washer, fill up the kitty's water dish, and here's the toilet brush. Mama's going to make herself a lemon drop."

7. Her favorite nursery rhymes: "Tinkle, Tinkle" "Ashes, Ashes" "I Happy (If You're Happy and You Know it, in case you couldn't figure that one out) and "Bitty Spider"- all complete with hand gestures.

8. When asked what she'd like to eat for lunch, she opens the fridge, places one hand on hip, sighs dramatically, and says "Let's see." Theater lessons, anyone?

9. "I have belly-body," and points to her navel. Then she pulls up my shirt, inserts finger in my navel, and says "Mommy's belly-body." This has happened in public several times. Once she even attempted to pull up my dress to access "Mommy's belly-body." Because pulling down mommy's shirt and saying "Milk" at top volume wasn't enough.

10. Boo Creature has a discovered mommy's bras. The last night she grabbed one from the laundry basket, placed it on her chest, and proceeded to walk around the house saying "I want boobs." Me too sweetie, me too. Today she grabbed two of my bras and says "I have boobs." Did I mention she's not even two?

Boo Creature & "Mama's Shoes"