A Day in the Life of a Working Mom

Many of my friends and family have asked how I was able to write a book, work full-time, and raise a toddler last year. Well, let me give you a little peek into my life.

This is what my typical mornings look like.

My alarm is set to go off at 5:45, but most mornings I'm up way before then thanks to this neurotic, OCD feline who likes to sit in front of my door and yowl at random times throughout the night.

He's so loud, I'm seriously surprised I don't see zombies from the nearest cemetery walking around outside our condo complex or that our neighbors haven't fired their shotgun through the wall in the middle of the night.

Any who, my work starts at 6am. I'm one of those lucky moms who gets to work from home and while that sounds like heaven, it can also be hell. Don't get me wrong, if given the chance to work in the office or at home, I'd chose home every time. The hell I'm talking about is when my dear daughter decides she needs to wake up when mommy does. That means two hours of working with at very busy toddler in the house before I drop her off at Montessori daycare.

When she does sleep in, I get so much shit done. Some days I'm blown away how I can be so productive in one hour. When she finally wakes up, we go potty first and then I set her up with some breakfast (usually cold cereal, fruit, and yogurt or an omelet) and Daniel Tiger's Neighborhood. While she eats and watches her show, I get some more work done and then I take a morning break so I can drop her off at school.

The rest of the day I try to make up for the time I spent getting her ready for school. Around 3:30 I clock out, log off my remote desktop, and go pick her up.

After some errands, we come home and it's time for dinner. She watches another episode or two of Daniel Tiger. (If you hear me breaking into random jingles like "If you're feeling mad, that you want to roar, take a deep breath and count to four. One. Two. Three. Four," you'll know where this madness is coming from.)

We enjoy eating supper together, then it's bath time, story time, and off to bed. After she's asleep, I come out and write for an hour or so before I go join her in the land of nod around 9. Some night's I'm so bloody tired, I pass out before she does.

And that's how my days usually go, except for the days I need to go into the office. Then daddy has to drag his ass out of bed and take care of munchkin. (He works late nights so that's why he's usually not available in the morning unless I absolutely cannot handle the demanding little girl).

Somewhere in there, I manage to shower, brush my teeth, and exercise. Some days none of them happen.

Now, it's your turn. I want to hear how you working mamas get through your day. And go.

PS And papas too. :)

A New Year

Happy New Year!


I am so excited about this year!!! Last year we did a read along of The Art of Extreme Self-care by Cheryl Richardson, this year instead of doing a read along, I will be posting book reviews of parenting, pregnancy, postpartum, and inspirational books I read or am currently reading.

I also want to focus more on the working mom and share little insights and tips I've learned along the way. There are so many mommy blogs out there but I haven't found many focusing on the mamas who have to work outside their home full-time.

In the Spring (April or May), Urban Goddess Mama-to-be, will be coming out. Those months I'll be talking more about pregnancy stuff leading up to the book release.

In May I'll be attending the Birth Without Fear Portland Meet-up. Super excited to be a part of this event. If you haven't heard of Birth Without Fear, please check them out. Talk about empowering women! More to come on that event.

I will be taking the summer off to work on some fiction writing and enjoy my 10 year wedding anniversary with my family.

In the Fall, I plan on blogging about self-care for women (all women not just moms) and creating rituals to bring magic into everyday life.

Hold on tight, it's going to be a great year!

Much love,

Melania

Yule 2014

Happy Winter Solstice.

I think Winter and Summer Solstice are my favorite holidays. These two days of the year I look forward to as a child anticipates Christmas or their birthday. To me,the Solstices are so magical. One heralds bringing the light and the other darkness. Both are necessary in the circle of life and creativity.

One of my favorite things is to host Yule with my women's circle. This year in particular felt most magical of all. So I'd thought I share with you a few glimpses into our celebration a couple of weeks ago.

Winter Solstice welcomes the light, the sun, returning as it is the longest night of the year and after this the days become longer and nights shorter. For me darkness is essential for the gestation of ideas and I as welcome the light I begin to birth them into existence. All through fall I have all kinds of thoughts and insights into stories I will then begin writing come January. I love the idea of bringing in the light. Last year this came into the form of my book. It was this time of year when I decided to share my journey with postpartum depression with the world. My idea came to fruition the following spring.

This year, all kinds of ideas and inspiration has come to me wish I will share with you more at the beginning of the year. And this year's Yule celebration was pure magic. Our high priestess, Amy, was kind enough to share a few pictures. Check out her Facebook page.

First we built our altar with Yule-themed objects. Note the holly and evergreen bough.

During our circle time we each shared our intentions for the following year and wrote them on little sticky notes which I taped to a Java log, our improvised Yule log. At the end of our circle time I took the log outside and burned it in a chiminea, since I don't have a real fireplace in my condo.

We finished the evening with a gift a exchange. Then before everyone left we made Magic Mists, using recipes from Tesa Whitehurst's Magical Housekeeping. This was so much fun! I felt like an alchemist creating beautiful aromas infused with crystals and essential oils.

I hope you enjoyed a little peek into my Winter Solstice. May the light always shine upon your path. Happy Holidays to you and your family. This will be my last post for 2014. I'll see you in 2015.

XOXO,
Melania

My Holiday Gift for You

Happy Holidays, Dear Readers!

As the 2014 draws to a close, I look back at the year. 2014 has, without a doubt, been one of the best years of my life. First of all, I finally was able to get a grip of my depression and really start to enjoy being a mother. Second, I achieved one of my biggest goals- become a published author. Not only that I also wrote my first article for Rebelle Society. All of this brought so much joy and sense of accomplishment. Last week, however, I witnessed a dream come true.

New Renaissance Bookstore

My favorite bookstore in Portland, New Renaissance Bookshop, agreed to carry my book. Seeing my baby on the shelf was the best Christmas present EVER. They have three copies and I signed them. :) If you know a new mom who is struggling and could use a little encouragement, this would make a great little gift. Make sure you throw in some chocolate too *wink.*

And if your budget is a little tight this year, Urban Goddess Mama, is FREE on Kindle books until 12/19/14. This is your chance to read my story for FREE and share with your mama friends. Go forth and spread the holiday cheer.

Happy Holidays, everyone. Thank you so much for your support and love. See you in the New Year!

xoxo,
Melania

The Art of Extreme Self-Care Chapter 12

Hello and welcome to The Art of Extreme Self-care postpartum style. For those of you who are new to my blog, last December I announced I would be doing a read-a-long of The Art of Extreme Self-care by Cheryl Richardson and sharing with you how I applied the principles of the book in a postpartum setting. We did it folks. We made it through the whole book. Last chapter was about waking up your passion. Let's dive into chapter 12.

Chapter Overview: Creating an Extreme Self-care Emergency kit

What I got out of the chapter: Life happens. Kids teeth, have growing pains, get sick, and have rough days. Jobs can be stressful. Family can bring all kinds of drama. Having a Self-care Emergency Kit is extremely important to get you through those tough times that happen to everyone.

Saturday was one of them for me. I woke up in a crappy mood. All week my emotions had been spiraling downward. Part of the reason was I hadn’t had time to run, my newest endorphin-booster, and there had been other challenging things throughout the week that have thrown my mood off track. This morning, all I wanted was to crawl back in bed and forget the world. I put on Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood for Boo Creature, climbed back into bed, and threw the cover over my head. It took every ounce of energy and will power to get my ass out of bed after she watched 3 episodes and go running as my usual weekend routine goes. I took her to the park and ran around the playground as she played on the slides. My mood didn’t improve. 

When I got home Hubby woke up and took over after I told him what was going on. I took a sea salt bath while reading a good book. He cooked a late brunch for us and brought me a plate of pancakes and eggs while I bathed- something that made me feel like a queen. The delicious food, wonderful bath, and good book helped a little, but I was still pretty pissy. 

By now nap time had arrived. I lay down with my girl and we took a two hour nap. When I woke up in the afternoon, I felt a little better. We snuggled together and looked at pictures on my phone. A half hour later I felt even better. And I got up to write this post. 

I utilized at least three of the tools in my Self-care Emergency Kit.  Using the questions that Cheryl asks in chapter, I created the following kit and today I’m so happy I had it:
 

1.      Who can I turn to for support? My husband, my 2 best friends, and my goddess circle ladies.

2.      Who do I need to avoid? Certain family members, anyone who has intense energy.

3.      What does my body need? Yoga, swimming, sea salt bath, sleep, and time in nature.

4.      What responsibilities to I need to let go of to clear space? Writing, social gathering, and in extreme cases take time off work.

5.      What unhelpful coping strategies or activities do I need to avoid? Mindless TV watching, internet surfing, Facebook surfing, and playing Facebook games.

6.      What spiritual practice restores my faith and connection to Source? Yoga, meditation, and walking in nature (especially the beach).

7.      What do I need to feel comforted? I need space, food, and time to rest.

8.      How will I best express my feelings? Journaling and talking to a trusted friend.

9.      What object can I use as a talisman that will remind me to breath & relax? My heart-shaped rose quartz.

10.   What can I do when I need to take a break from the emotional stress? Read a good book, watch a funny movie, eat a Greek Salad with a glass of wine, and take a bath.

Thank you so much for reading this fantastic book with me throughout the year. I really enjoyed sharing what I’ve learned. Stayed tuned for an exciting announcement next week. 

Love,
Melania 

Being Present

Happy Monday Readers!

About 2 weeks ago, I had a reading done by a very intuitive friend who I hadn't seen in years. At the time of the reading I had feelings of frustration, anxiety, restlessness, and indecision dancing inside me like a drunken frat party were I was the only one sober. My next book edits came in late due to a communication error which added to the stress. I couldn't focus on work or writing. When my family was together on the weekend, my mind was far away in another land and lifetime.

Therefore it wasn't a surprise when the first thing my friend said was I needed to be present and that until I focused my energy on living in the now, all the dreams and goals I'd been struggling towards would only be pushed out farther. As soon as she said this I thought, "duh." I'd written about this in both of my books and constantly talked about it, but somewhere along the way, I lost my step and fell back onto the endless treadmill of worry, constantly thinking about my next book, the next project to tackle at my day job, where I'm going to send Boo Creature to preschool next year, when are we going to relocate our family to our dream location, if I should go back to school and complete my bachelors degree, and the list goes on.

Because my mind was everywhere but here, I was missing some of life's precious moments- something I didn't want. This was my wake up call and I answered. Her words resonated with every cell of my body. She gave me many insights and ideas of ways to get my life back on track.

That night I vowed to take a step back, clear my calendar (including my mental one) of things that really weren't important and set my priorities straight: 1. My health (mind, body, & soul), 2. My family, 3. My job, and 4. My dreams and goals. Everything else comes after that.

I also vowed to let life flow and stop fighting the events that ruin my well thought out plans. A week ago the promise to myself came to the test. My plan for that Sunday was: sleep in, yoga, lunch & nap with Boo, go to Samhain goddess circle, and family evening time. The time change also took place that day as well and of course my darling little daughter didn't get the memo as she woke up at 5 am, new time. Hubby hadn't slept well and he wasn't feeling good, so I let him go back to bed. Suffice to say, I didn't get to go to yoga that morning which made me sad since I was really looking forward to the class. Boo was in a mood too so I ended up putting her down for an early nap and I joined her for a good two hour snooze.

When we woke up we had some unexpected out-of-town family stop by. The kids played together and they were having so much fun I didn't want to tell them I needed to leave and break up their good time. Plus I'd run out of energy by this point to fight. By the time they left it was long after the goddess circle had already started so I wasn't going to make it there either. My plans had been ruined. However at the day's end, I did get some great family time with hubby and Boo.

Even though my day didn't turn out the way I had wanted I didn't mind at all. Everything happened as it should. My spirit needed the good quality time with my daughter in the morning, my body needed the long nap, and my soul needed the family connection in the afternoon. And I realized this because I lived in the moment. Every time a plan changed, I went with the flow and didn't fight it. And I got to enjoy these darling moments.

As a result of being present in my life, I also came to the realization that the pressure I was putting on myself to get the next book out was causing me to not be present and all kinds of stress. After much soul-searching I decided to take a real break from the writing and focus on my priorities for the rest of the year. Urban Goddess Mama-to-Be release date has been pushed out to the Spring 2015 and my fiction writing has been paused until after the holidays. I feel really good about this decision.

Being present is changing my life in so many ways for the better, because today, this very moment, is all we really have.

Namaste,

Melania

PS. There's a great 21-day Meditation Challenge going on right now. Click here for more information.

The Art of Extreme Self-care Chapter 11

Hello and welcome to The Art of Extreme Self-care postpartum style. For those of you who are new to my blog, last December I announced I would be doing a read-a-long of The Art of Extreme Self-care by Cheryl Richardson and sharing with you how I applied the principles of the book in a postpartum setting.  We will be focusing on one chapter a month and while I try to post the first Monday of the month, that doesn't always happen. Last chapter was about dealing with anger and speaking your truth. Let's dive into chapter 11.

Chapter overview: Waking up

What I got out of the chapter: "Many of us lose sight of the things that make us truly happy." The first line of the chapter couldn't be more true with motherhood. Once the baby arrives into our lives, everything we do is to make sure our child is cared for, loved, and protected. We bust our butts keeping the house running as smoothly as possible and we put ourselves last. Doing things for our own pleasure becomes something of antiquity and often times we lose sight ourselves. I cannot stress the importance of finding those pleasures in life. They feed the well so you can feed your family's well.

Treasure Hunt (looking for hints or objects that appeal to you). 
I know I completely lost myself after my daughter was born. The things I used to enjoy no longer interested me. I didn't know what I liked anymore. One of my deepest pleasures was getting lost in a good book. But I had hard time reading what I used to like (paranormal and fantasy). So after reading this chapter on discovering your hidden passion, I went to the Kindle store and looked for free or .99 cent books and downloaded different books that looked interesting. 

Once you find an object, do something.
Next time I had a good chunk of time to myself, I scanned my personal library and picked out a book that sounded good. It turned out to be Brenda Novak's When We Touch (A Whiskey Creek novella)I completely fell in love with her Whiskey Creek series and have been reading them in order as time allows.
My writing has changed because of this. The dark paranormal stories are still there, but right now I'm enjoying writing lighthearted contemporary romance, something I didn't expect I'd like. So what about you? What hidden passions are waiting to be discovered?