Here we go again...

Dear Readers,

It's been a LONG time since I've blogged about stuff. I've been behind on the Art of Extreme Self-care Read-a-long and other things. Sure, I can name a slew of excuses for my slacking like I work full time, a mommy to a very active toddler, and working on Urban Goddess Mama-to-be  (coming out next month). While these are very valid, they, unfortunately, are not the real reason I've been tardy with my blogging.

Most of you know my struggle with postpartum depression and how I've been able to conquer the challenges brought on by this debilitated disorder. Over the last few months I've done super well and was starting to feel like my normal self. I even started writing fiction again- something that hasn't happened for two years. Been sleeping real well, too. Besides the occasional down day that everyone experiences once in a while, I feel felt great.

Stone ledge by stone ledge, I was almost out of the dark well, when I slipped and fell right back into the waters below. But this time it was different.

Back in August, my OB advised me to stay on Zoloft at least until after I weaned my daughter and my hormones balanced out again. She said that I might have another bought of depression. Also my fibromyalgia started to flare up again, which I know brings on depression if I don't control the pain. So I visited my acupuncturist and also did some self-care.

A little over three weeks ago, my daughter nursed for the last time. She'd been slowly decreasing her request for "mama milk" over the last month. As liberating as weaning can be, I felt sad for loosing one of my favorite ways to connect with my daughter. Breastfeeding had been the single bond that made me feel like I'd done something right when I went through a very dark period last year.

A week ago, my shoulder started to hurt so bad that I couldn't sleep. I visited my acupuncturist again. Two days later I woke up to find that the black fog I'd fought had finally settled in. Again. I felt pissed. Everything my daughter did brought rage. And of course, she woke up in a bad mood too.

What made the situation worse was we were both at the beach with my goddess ladies staying in a gorgeous house in a perfect location. Yet here I was feeling like scum on the bottom of sewer worker's shoe. Most of the ladies were sleeping so I decided to take my daughter down to the beach because she was starting to throw a tantrum and I didn't want to wake anyone.

Things got worse once outside. She started to scream and very dark thoughts filled my head- the kind that I hadn't had in a long time. The imagines that played through my head scared the shit out of me, because I didn't trust myself not to act on them in the state I was in.

I quickly grabbed her and went back to the car. I figured she'd be safer in the car seat and if I drove around maybe she'd fall asleep and that would allow me to deal with my demons. After an hour of driving, sleep didn't seem to be on the menu. My back up plan when I get this way had always been my parents. They were an hour away and I thought about taking her there, but I needed to get back to the house to get her things.

When I returned, everyone was up. My girl went off to play with one of the other kids who came along as well. Pure exhaustion hit me like a tsunami. All I wanted was to crawl into bed and check out. The fatigue was so great I didn't even have enough energy to ask the other women to watch my girl for a couple of hours so I could sleep. I just crawled into bed and passed out.

Two hours later, my daughter came into my room and wanted to crawl in bed with me. This time when I woke up I felt more human. Bright sunlight flooded my room, warming my bed. We snuggled together, while she told me what she'd been doing with her new friends. Then she turned to me and said, "Mama sleepin'. Mama tired. I love you, Mama."

Tears filled my eyes as she threw her arms around my neck. "I love you too, baby," I whispered back. The ladies had fed her, changed her diaper, and made sure she was cared for so I could rest and care for myself.

The rest of the day turned out to be a magical day filled with crafts, play, drinks, food, and lots of laughter. As the day progressed, I thought about the dark place I had been in that morning and how quickly things had turned bad, yet they changed for the better just as quickly. Depression is nothing to mess with.

 I'm so thankful for my goddess ladies and the support they gave me when I needed it the most. I'm thankful for my OB who warned me this could happen and so I knew what was happening. But I also want to thank you, dear readers, for your support and understanding. You rock.

The Art of Extreme Self-care Chapter 10

Hello and welcome to The Art of Extreme Self-care postpartum style. For those of you who are new to my blog, last December I announced I would be doing a read-a-long of The Art of Extreme Self-care by Cheryl Richardson and sharing with you how I applied the principles of the book in a postpartum setting.  We will be focusing on one chapter a month and while I try to post the first Monday of the month, that doesn't always happen. Last chapter was about getting a tune-up. Let's dive into chapter 10.

Chapter Overview: Anger

What I got out of it: This chapter is about speaking your truth and sticking up for yourself. When Boo Creature was about 1 1/2 months old I went out to a restaurant with my goddess ladies for lunch. The waitress kept doting over my daughter. At first I didn't mind. Who doesn't love a new baby? But then she started stroking her head while I was holding her and that make me feel very uneasy.

1. She was a complete stranger. 2. My daughter was still pretty small/newbornish. 3. She wreaked of tobacco smoke.

When our food arrived, my lady friends took turns holding Boo Creature so I could eat a meal in peace. I didn't mind them touching her because they were all dear friends and I knew them. Just as I took a huge bite out of my garden burger, the waitress showed up at our table again. This time when went over and kissed my baby's hand and head. I was stunned. Anger bubbled inside. How dare she take the liberty of kissing my baby? Didn't she know any baby etiquette? Even my friends were shocked. Next time she checked on us, the friend holding the baby turned away from her when she reached for the baby again. I took the baby back, the waitress tried again to touch Boo and I too turned away and out of her reach.

This incident happened long before I read The Art of Extreme Self-care. And I wished I'd spoken up the first time she touched my baby. Instead I froze and the anger didn't taste so good.

Here's the simple approach Cheryl talks about in the chapter to deal with situations like the one above:

1. Stop and Acknowledge what just happened. My girlfriends and I did notice the waitress touching her and we talked about it. I didn't stuff it in.

2. Take a deep break and state what's on your mind - with grace & love if possible. That's what I wish I would have done. At the time, I know I was too afraid I'd offend her by telling her not to touch my baby and she'd do something to our food.

3. Don't try to change the other person. I could have said something like, "I know you really like babies and want to show your affection, but she's pretty new. I would appreciate you refraining from touching her. Thank you."

4. Walk away. Stepping away to regroup is always a good thing.

The Art of Extreme Self-Care Chapter 9

Hello and welcome to The Art of Extreme Self-care postpartum style. For those of you who are new to my blog, last December I announced I would be doing a read-a-long of The Art of Extreme Self-care by Cheryl Richardson and sharing with you how I applied the principles of the book in a postpartum setting.  We will be focusing on one chapter a month and while I try to post the first Monday of the month, that doesn't always happen. Last chapter was about protecting your sensitivity. Let's dive into chapter 9.

Chapter overview: Time for a tune-up.

What I got out of the chapter: Taking charge of your health. As a mom, it's so easy to up your health last as you focus on caring for your family, but being healthy is vital to being able to give the attention and care you family needs. Those routine dental cleaning appointments or annual exams get put on the back burner. Unless something is seriously wrong, a trip to the doctor's office is delayed. But not just medical things, stuff like getting a massage or pedicure and visiting the acupuncturist takes a back seat.

When I first read the chapter last year, I was going through one of the low points of my postpartum depression.

1. Taking charge of my health. I did this by reading up on postpartum depression and ways to combat it naturally. I wanted to know what type of medication would be safe while breastfeeding and the side effects. 

2. Listen to my body. I did a check in with my body. At the time my neck and shoulders were tight and painful as I had a flare up of fibromyaliga. There was a spot of psoriasis on the back of my scalp that needed looked at. I wasn't sleeping very well. And I was out of shape. My perineal area was still sore and I still had pretty bad pelvic pain.

That month I started pelvic physical therapy, scheduled regular visits with the acupuncturist and massage therapist, saw a dermatologist for the psoriasis, and talked to my doctor about what was safe to take that would help me sleep better while breastfeeding. I also started to exercise at the gym regularly. Between massage, acupuncture, exercise, and a natural supplements, I started to sleep better and feel better within a week.The tension in my neck and shoulders melted away.

3. Choosing Health Partners, not Parents. I want someone who I can work with in improving my health not just tell me what to do and expecting me follow their orders without question. I absolutely love my OB-Gyn, she is someone I feel very comfortable with and discussing very personal issues without feeling like she's judging me. My acupuncturist and massage therapist are the same. We are all partners in my health. We are equals.

4. Finding the right Emotional Support. This right here is what saved my veggie bacon during the worse periods of postpartum depression. I am so blessed to have a powerful group of women, my Spiral Wise sisters, who have been my rock through some of my darkest moments. I also have a couple of soul sisters who I know I can call any time of day or night and they'll be there for me.

5. Know what you need & when you need to know it. I'm so thankful that in this age of technology when I have a test done, I can log in to the patient portal and see my results, but I always ask when the results should be available, so I'm not constantly logging in to check.

Every six months I go through these 5 steps and take the appropriate actions to ensure that my health is optimal, because I want to be there for my daughter. A healthy mama means a healthy home. 

5 things I like about The Honest Company

Dear Readers,

*this post contains affiliate links for which I get paid a small percentage of sales*

9/20/14 UPDATE: Zulily sale is over, but you can still checkout The Honest Company and get a free trial by clicking the affiliate banner on the sidebar or click here Free Trial*

Zulily is having a sale for The Honest Company today. I can write an entire book of why I love this company, but here are my top 5 reasons:

1. Environmentally friendly. All their products are free of harsh-chemicals.

2. Quality. All of the products I've tried thus far are comparable to mainstream product quality. Laundry soap, dishwasher pods, shampoo, lotion, floor cleaner, window cleaner, bathroom cleaner, dishwasher rinse, prenatal vitamins, DHA capsules, diaper cream, disposable diapers, disposable pull-ups, disposable wipes, and breath easy chest rub. The only product I've tried that I'm not a big fan of is their spray sun screen. It leaves a powdery white residue on everything, but still very effective. My daughter was out playing in the fountain downtown yesterday for two hours in midday sun without any redness.

3. Female-founded company. Jessica Alba started the company and funded most of the research in the products with her own money because she wanted to make a difference in this world. I love to support companies founded and run by women.

4. They give back. They help communities local and international.

5. Convenience. I love that I can set up a bundle order online and it will show up at my doorstep whenever I need the products to be here.

And they are affordable. Okay so that is six reasons. I first tried the Honest Company when they were on Zulily last time and completely fell in love with their products.

Give them a try and click on the link below.


The Honest Company Sale at zulily Love, Melania

10 Things My Wild Toddler Has Said or Done Recently

The last two weeks have been part amusing, horrifying, and heart-warming- sometimes all three at the same time. Some of these things are so awesome I had to share. You might want to go use the restroom before we get started. Here we go:

1. While eating outside at one the sidewalk cafes in town: Boo Creature proceeds to wave and smile at every male human that walks by, including several homeless bums, while ignoring all the females. Hubby will be buying a shotgun soon.

2. When not at daycare, continues to mention a boy named "Cooper" from school. She's not even two years old!

3. "Mommy work" is the first thing she says when she wakes up and I'm, well, working in the office. And now she says this every time I'm not out in the living room/kitchen area with her or if I'm on the computer. Maybe mommy works to much?

4. Everything that Boo Creature eats must now be shared with Pooh, her favorite stuffed bear, including blackberries, bananas, yogurt, mac n' cheese, spaghetti, oatmeal, and well you get the point... any good stain-removing tips welcome.

5. She randomly yells "Mama!" with a tone of sheer excitement and runs over hugging my legs or any other body part she can wrap her arms around. Sometimes she adds, "I miss you." *reaches for tissues*

6. "I help" is her newest response when she sees me doing anything around the house. "Why yes, baby, you can help. Here's a mop and some floor cleaner. Knock yourself out. And while you're at it throw some laundry in the washer, fill up the kitty's water dish, and here's the toilet brush. Mama's going to make herself a lemon drop."

7. Her favorite nursery rhymes: "Tinkle, Tinkle" "Ashes, Ashes" "I Happy (If You're Happy and You Know it, in case you couldn't figure that one out) and "Bitty Spider"- all complete with hand gestures.

8. When asked what she'd like to eat for lunch, she opens the fridge, places one hand on hip, sighs dramatically, and says "Let's see." Theater lessons, anyone?

9. "I have belly-body," and points to her navel. Then she pulls up my shirt, inserts finger in my navel, and says "Mommy's belly-body." This has happened in public several times. Once she even attempted to pull up my dress to access "Mommy's belly-body." Because pulling down mommy's shirt and saying "Milk" at top volume wasn't enough.

10. Boo Creature has a discovered mommy's bras. The last night she grabbed one from the laundry basket, placed it on her chest, and proceeded to walk around the house saying "I want boobs." Me too sweetie, me too. Today she grabbed two of my bras and says "I have boobs." Did I mention she's not even two?

Boo Creature & "Mama's Shoes"

Zulily Mountain Buggy - Nano Exclusive Sale and Giveaway!

Hello Dear Readers,

**This post contains affiliate links and I will be compensated if you make a purchase after clicking on my links.

This is for all of you new parents out there! Zulily has just released the Mountain Buggy - Nano Travel System: a one-of-a-kind Stroller and Protect Infant Car Seat combination system that features the lightest car seat on the market and a stroller that folds ultra compact into a shoulder-strap bag, perfect for a family on the go! The best news — we can both win one! Here's how…

Starting today (8/19) through Thursday (8/21), you can enter the zulily Moutain Buggy - Nano Giveaway by sharing your favorite Nano color in the comments below.


zulily Mountain Buggy - Nano Giveaway!I'm entering the zulily travel system giveaway contest and if I win one, so can one of you!
A little about the Mountain Buggy - Nano:
• Includes the Protect Infant Car Seat one of the lightest on the market at 8.3 pounds
• Lifts out of its sturdy LATCH base without disturbing Baby and into the Nano easy-push 13.7 lb stroller
• The stroller folds ultra compact into a shoulder-strap bag to simplify travel for a family on the go
• Available for $349.99 with free shipping!

Good Luck everyone!

Love,

Melania 

My breastfeeding story.

Since August is Breastfeeding Awareness Month, I figured now would be a great time to share my breastfeeding story.

Long before my daughter was born, I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt I wanted to breastfeed. I mean, really, free food for baby & burn calories at the same time? Sign me up! The day I was supposed to attend the breastfeeding class at the clinic, I went into labor so I missed it. I tried not to worry because, hey, women have been breastfeeding their babies for thousands of years so it's pretty much embedded into our DNA, right? Plus, I'd watched all those baby breast crawl videos on Youtube. I planned to have a natural delivery, preferably a water birth, and breastfeeding was only appropriate.
Unfortunately my labor & delivery did not go as planned (you can read the story here). So it became very important that I breastfeed my girl, because I wanted to make up for the bumpy start to our mommy/baby relationship. Had I not been as committed, I would have given up within the first month.
When she was born, they placed her on my chest. I watched with amazement as she slowly worked her way to my nipple. It worked. She latched on and started sucking hard. It hurt a little, but after what I went through giving birth to her, the pain seemed more like a light pinch compared to the punched-in-the-crotch-by-a-boxing-champion feeling that came as my epidural wore off.
Every two hours the nurses came in to make sure I was feeding her. I did. Around the clock, I was up trying to nurse her. The lactation specialists came in and checked to see how well she latched because with each feeding my nipples hurt more and more. Latching wasn't the issue. Once she got my nipple in her mouth she chomped down on it every time. It wasn't until the last day in the hospital (day 5) that we finally got her to not bite my nipple.
But the other problem was my milk hadn't come in. The lactation specialists set me up with a pump and after every feeding, I had to pump for fifteen minutes. (Sleep became a relic of the past.) While in the hospital they supplemented with breast bank milk, but as we were getting ready to check out I started to freak-out about what we would do once home. Lucky for me, a girlfriend gave me several bags of her frozen milk which was just enough to get us through until my milk arrived (day 7).
Every feeding session for the first couple of weeks was a traumatic event for both of us. I'd silently curse away as she suckled, many times she would fuss for reasons unknown. Most of the time I blamed myself because I was so tense and she could pick up on that. Or at least that's what I thought at the time.
Within two weeks of the birth we developed thrush. Not sure who got it first but I had it in my nipples and her poor mouth was covered with white patches. So now not only were my nipples bleeding and sore, they also hurt like a mother of Satan. Every time my daughter nursed I felt like someone inserted hypodermic needles into my breasts. My midwife prescribed some medicine for both of us. Now my every two hour feeding routine included, washing nipples with apple cider vinegar,  applying generous amounts of all purpose nipple cream, and changing breast pads. Oh, and pump. I still wasn't producing enough milk... I also drank truckloads of Kefir. The thrush cleared within a week.
I had many mama friends stop by and say, "yeah, the first couple of weeks hurt, but then you nipples get tough." Two, three, four weeks had already passed and I still had to use all purpose nipple cream to help with the pain. One mama however told me it took her at least eight weeks. That made me feel better. Especially since that's how long it took my nipples to finally "toughen up."
After that breastfeeding became the natural wonderful magical thing everyone keeps talking about. I watched my newborn grow for the first six months primarily on the milk my small B size boobs produced. How freaking amazing is that?
My daughter is almost 19 months now and is slowly weening herself, which makes me rather sad that our beautiful moments are coming to an end.  But I have a few selfies like this one that captured a half of a nanosecond of one of these moments.  Please share your breastfeeding story in the comments for others to read. Happy Breastfeeding Month!