Monday, March 24, 2014

A Sample Baby Registry



Setting up a baby registry can be a daunting endeavor. I know I cringed every time I thought about it. First, of all I despise department stores. Second, I was a new mom. What did I know what I would need?  Third, we lived in an 800 square foot condo that was already cluttered with our stuff. My head hurt thinking about adding all the baby stuff.
Than a friend who is a minimalist and a mom sent me a link to this blog post of an easy earth-friendly baby registry. I basically copied and set it up on Amazon. The beauty of Amazon is you can link other sites such as Babies R’ Us to your Amazon account AND you don’t even need to leave your house.
So I figured I’d share a simple registry that can be a good starting place for any new mom.
1.       Convertible play yard with bassinet & changing table(3 in 1). This is a wonderful thing for a home where space is a premium. The play yard can become a crib later down the road and it easy to move from room to room if necessary.
2.       Sheets & waterproof pads for play yard. At least 2 of each. 3 is the perfect number.
3.       Bottles. Glass is better, especially for heating. Whether your breastfeeding or not, bottles are essential if you plan on ever going anywhere in the first year without your baby.
4.       Diapers. Whether you are planning on doing disposable or cloth, be prepared to go through 12-15 a day the first few weeks. For cloth figure out how often you want to do laundry and go from there. If you are doing cloth you’ll need at least 5 liners, 6 - 8 is better.
5.       Diaper pail. For either cloth or disposable. It doesn’t have to be ginormous. For cloth think of how often you want to wash them; disposable, how often you’ll want to take the garbage out. 2-3 days is usually good, more than that the bin will get really stinky. I found a five gallon bucket with a lid works just fine for cloth diapers and a small-lidded trash can for disposables.
6.       Clothes. Most likely people are going to give you bags of hammy downs or loads of new outfits for your little one. If you do put cloths on your registry, make sure it’s a bigger size from 3 months on. Newborn clothes last a month if you’re lucky and during that first month sleepers are the easiest. I found that sleepers with a zipper worked best for me because I couldn’t never figure out the snaps. 4-5 newborn sleepers are plenty.  If you’re swaddling, 4-5 swaddlers are great.
7.       Car seat. You can’t take your baby home from the hospital unless you have a car seat. The kind that detaches from a base is the most convenient for newborns. Plus the seat becomes a great place to have your baby hangout. I used to put my daughter in hers and bring it in the bathroom so I could shower. They also rock nicely for soothing.
8.       A couple of toys. People love to buy toys for babies & children. Here’s a chance for you to choose what kind of toys you would like your child to have. Babies don’t really need many toys. A little rattle or wire ball will provide plenty of entertainment for them.
9.       Humidifier. Especially for newborns in the winter. Their respiratory tract is so delicate and they need the extra moisture when the heater is running.
10.   Baby carrier or sling. If you want to get anything done in that first month, you’ll discover wearing you baby is the key, unless you have one of those easy babies that will sleep anywhere you place them. I found Moby wraps were the best for my daughter in the first month. Baby Bjorn and Ergo Baby are also great.
11.   Burp cloths and bibs. You can never have too many, but at least 10 of each is necessary.
12.   Teething rings.  Those will come in handy in the future.
13.   Blankets. 2 for the home, 2 for travel, and 2 for spares.
And that’s about it. Simple and basic.

Sunday, March 9, 2014

The Art of Extreme Self-care Chapter 3

Hello and welcome to The Art of Extreme Self-care postpartum style. For those of you who are new to my blog, last December I announced I would be doing a read-a-long of The Art of Extreme Self-care by Cheryl Richardson and sharing with you how I applied the principles of the book in a postpartum setting.  We will focusing on one chapter a month. Last chapter was about mirror. Let's dive into chapter 3.


Overview:
"Let me disappoint you."


What I got out of it:
Living up to other people's expectations has always been one of my downfalls. Most of the time I don't even notice that I'm doing it, until I get so unhappy about a situation and sit down to figure out why. Since becoming a mother, I've been forced to learn to let people down. Those babies sure know how to make you late for events, cancel last minute, change plans, and wreck all kinds of havoc on a mother's life. Babies also provide a easy ticket out to uncomfortable situations.


I love the three tips Cheryl gives when having to decline a request: 1. Take your time before responding. 2. Check in with you gut. 3. Tell the truth with grace and love.

I also liked how she mentions that when you decline don't over-explain yourself. That is one thing I struggle with because I feel I need to justify everything.




Here's a couple of scenarios where I applied the above three tips:


Being invited to a friend's house for dinner, but I'm so tired and would be keeping the baby past her bedtime. My response: "I'd love to spend the evening with you, but today has been an exhausting day and we need to get to bed early. Maybe we can do lunch sometime?"

 When asked if I can volunteer as a judge for a writing contest, something I really enjoy doing, but feel overwhelmed with working fulltime and raising in infant: "You know how much I love contest judging, but right now I've got way too much on my plate. Hit me up next year and best of luck."

Short, simple, and to the point. What about you? Can you think of ways to "disappoint" someone with love and kindness but still being true to yourself? Please share below.

Monday, February 24, 2014

A Portrait of Motherhood

Recently I was scrolling through my husband Facebook album of our daughter and came across this little gem.

He took the picture last summer at about six months postpartum. It totally captures my motherhood experience. Exhaustion, pajamas, messy hair, and a little baby finally comfortable hanging out on tummy.

Most of our friends "liked" this photo and left comments as to how gorgeous motherhood looked on me despite how tired I must have been. I laugh now as I read these comments because at the time I was going through the lowest period in my postpartum depression. My girl had started the second round of teething and working full-time with lack of sleep had gotten the better of me.

Even so this is probably my favorite picture in the album because it highlights that I was doing the best I could with what I had. Even if it meant collapsing for a two-second shuteye next to my baby as she practiced rolling on the floor mid day. Plus I love the "oh-oh" look on her face.

Monday, February 3, 2014

The Art of Extreme Self-care Chapter 2

Happy Love Month and welcome to The Art of Extreme Self-care postpartum style. For those of you who are new to my blog, last December I announced I would be doing a read-a-long of The Art of Extreme Self-care by Cheryl Richardson and sharing with you how I applied the principles of the book in a postpartum setting.  We will focusing on one chapter a month. Last chapter was about recognizing areas in life where you feel deprived. Let's dive into chapter 2.

Chapter 2

Overview:
Mirror Work

What I got out if it:
I have to be honest here. When I first read this chapter months ago, I was like "what?" First, I thought it was vain to stare at oneself in the mirror and who the heck has time to tell themselves "I love you and I accept you right now" multiple times a day? But I tried to practice it as much as possible. I felt so silly. After a couple of days I pretty much stopped. Then last month when I was rereading the chapter, I also listened to a bunch of wonderful lectures from Hayhouse New You Now webinar series and it came up again. This time I got serious.



Here's what I noticed:
It took a couple of days for me to get over my aversion to gazing into my eyes in a mirror. Before I used to notice all my flaws when I looked in the mirror, but now I saw my eyes and all the various shades of brown that decorated the irises.

And then I looked deeper. I finally understood the truth behind the saying "eyes are windows into the soul." I started to use the mirror for help when I would get stuck on a project at work or in a scene while writing and ask "what is holding me back?" The answer didn't come right away, but if I looked deep enough I felt a shift as if the block moved aside and could proceed. My productivity increased in my job and at home and I actually started feeling really good about myself which felt good after spending an entire year NOT enjoying my mental state.

I also discovered that you really do have to love yourself in order to feel better and to love those around you. Because when I love myself I make better choices and take better care of myself. By doing so I am more present and am able to give the top notch attention I want to my family. Now I don't feel so silly saying "I love you, Melania, and accept you right now."

Have you peeked into your mirror lately?

Wednesday, January 29, 2014

1 year of Motherhood

*I meant to post this on Monday, but I've had a sick little girl on my hands all weekend & week. Better late then never, right?*

Last week we celebrated my daughter's 1st Birthday. I'm still in shock that we have a one year old toddling around our home, but as I look back over the last year and remember all the craziness I realize so much has changed. I definitely am no longer the person I was a year ago and I'm okay with it. In fact I kinda like this "new" me. Here's five major things that are different:

1. My priorities. Duh! Every mother can tell you that, but it's not just now I have a kid and everything I do effects her. No, it's far deeper than that. For example sleep is my number one priority. If I don't get enough rest, everything starts to fall apart. So when my girl keeps me up all night and I'm tired the next morning, I'll work only half day at day job and make sure I nap with her in the afternoon. My bedtime is an hour after my girl goes to sleep. Non-negotiable. Her bedtime is 7 so that means I'm in bed by 8, unless I don't have to work the next day. Which means the latest I'll go to bed is 9. Sleep played a huge roll in overcoming postpartum depression and I never want to go there again. If I'm going to be the mother I need to be for my girl I'm in bed by 8 end of story.

2. Eating healthy. I've always been somewhat of a healthy eater, but ever since my girl started eating big people food, I noticed I actually indulge in junk food more often than I originally thought. She sees me putting something in my mouth, she immediately wants to eat it too. I would never dream of feeding my child junk so am I eating it? Over the last couple of months I've done an overhaul in the kitchen. All the produce is organic, I cook more things from scratch because then I know what's actually in the food I'm giving my girl, and I make sure that I have plenty of healthy snacks on hand. End result is that I feel so much better. I don't feel deprived or crave unhealthy stuff except for the occasional pizza and there ain't nothing wrong with that. *wink*

3. Active. I'm in far better shape now than I was before I got pregnant. I've been going to the gym weekly or biweekly, skiing with hubby once a week, doing 20-30 minutes of yoga 2-3 times a week, and going for a good 45 minute walk 1 or 2 times a week. All because I have a little girl who is active and I need to keep up. My yoga time involves her too, unless I'm taking a class at the gym. We do downward-facing dog together and her giggles make those minutes so much fun. We also like to put on Enigma or Lindsey Stirling on Pandora and dance.

4. Being Present. There's nothing in the world that will get you to live in the moment than a child. My girl has been an awesome teacher to say the least and I can't thank her enough. By being present I've discovered the beauty of awareness and that lovely space in time when I pause to think about what I'm going to do or say next. My stress level has dropped too because I'm taking time to play drums or read a book with my girl instead of thinking about what I'm going to cook for super or what I'm going to do tomorrow at work. This leads me to my final point:

5. Deeper spiritual connection. I'm not just talking about connection to God or higher self, although both are super important, I'm also referring to the world around me and to people I surround myself with. Everyone is on their own spiritual path and they are doing the best they can. Every mother I come in contact with is giving her all and what I may see doesn't necessarily mean she's not doing things right because there really isn't a right or wrong way. There is only what is right for that person or for me in this moment. That's all that matters. What worked yesterday might not work today or what works for me may not work for you and it's perfectly okay. We're all in this together.

I'm so thankful for my darling princess. She has changed my world and made it so much better. I love you, baby girl.
 Tune in next week for Chapter 2 of The Art of Extreme Self-care read-a-long"postpartum style!"

Monday, January 13, 2014

A Mother's Love

Last Friday, hubby and I got a blessed day together and went skiing since the snow gods had been dumping generous amounts of the white stuff on Mt. Hood. After a couple of hours of hitting the slopes, this mama got hungry so we stopped in the lodge for a couple drinks and a mountain of award-worthy nachos. I completely enjoyed our conversation and watching the snow clouds roll over the mountain.

Before we headed back out, I had to stop and fix my boots in the main lodge area. I noticed a mother sitting with her very young girl at the end of the long bench I'd plopped my butt on. My first thought was, "Aw, isn't that sweet. Mother and daughter hanging out at the mountain. I hope this will be me and my girl in a few years."

As I adjusted the straps and buckles on my boots, I heard a grunt. I glanced over to them again and looked away quickly because I didn't want the mom to think I was staring. This time I noticed the girl had a disability of some sort, most likely Down's Syndrome.

My heart melted. Normally when I see disabled children with their families, I feel love, but the pity kind. You know, the type where you admire the courage and bravery of the parents, sadness for what they have to endure, and hopefulness that they have all the support they need.

This time, however, when my heart melted I saw myself and my girl sitting there at the end of the bench helping her take bites of a sandwich and sips from her juice box. Tears welled into my eyes, but not of sadness. No, they were tears of love. I stole more glances under the pretense of fixing my boots.

The way the mother smiled down at her daughter and the way she cradled the girl on her lap, I knew that the mother viewed her child as a perfect whole person and for the first time in my life, I did too. What ever disability she had disappeared. That's what a mother's love does. It's unconditional and unmeasurable. It looks past the flaws.

I understood her. That little girl in that moment, was the most beautiful child I'd laid my eyes upon. All I wanted to do was walk over there, scoop her up in my arms, and shower her with kisses. My heart overflowed with love.

Of course, I restrained myself. But I wish I'd walked over there and at least told her that she had the most gorgeous girl. Two years ago, if I'd seen them there my reaction may have been totally different. That's when I realize how much becoming a mom had changed me and I really understood the vastness of a mother's love.

Monday, January 6, 2014

The Art of Extreme Self-care Chapter 1

Happy New Year and welcome to The Art of Extreme Self-care postpartum style. For those of you who are new to my blog, last December I announced I would be doing a read-a-long of The Art of Extreme Self-care by Cheryl Richardson and sharing with you how I applied the principles of the book in a postpartum setting.  We will focusing on one chapter a month. So let's get started!

Chapter 1

Overview:
Discovering the areas in your life where you are deprived and why.

What I got out if it:
This was a pretty easy chapter and exercise for me, because hell, as a mom we know pretty well what we are deprived of and the reason why. Sleep, quiet alone time, nurturing social activities, self-care, and the list goes on. But I found the exercise at the end of the chapter helpful in identifying why I was being deprived. Please note, when I did this activity, I was battling postpartum depression, recovering from surgery, and still healing from the trauma of childbirth.

This is what my list looked like:
I feel deprived of: Sleep, alone time, physical activity, time for self-care, time to read a book, time to decompress, peace, tranquility, calmness.
I need more of right now: SLEEP, better nutrition, alone time, exercise.
I need less of: Pain, anxiety, tears, chaos, feeling down about everything, less screaming baby.
Who is causing me to feel resentful and why: My child because this isn't what I envisioned motherhood to be. Myself for not being strong enough to handle motherhood.
I'm starving for: the freedom to go for a swim or take a yoga class, the time to sit and get lost in a good book, the time to write, the brain power to sit down and finish writing my novel.

I'm sure many of you moms can relate to my list. Sleep was and continues to be a big issue for me. In the last couple months my daughter has finally been able to sleep throughout the night, but after nearly a year of being woken up repeatedly, I'm still struggling with relaxing enough to sleep through the night myself. Relaxing is the key.

Over the last year I learned a valuable lesson in terms of how exercise really effects sleep and the ability to relax. When I started going to the gym and taking my daughter to the kid's club onsite, I discovered that I had time to exercise or take a yoga class, in that hour I got a break from my needy child, and because I exercised my body felt good. When you feel good you can relax easier, which leads to better sleep and a sense of calmness. Sleep in turn allows the body to heal, the mind to sort itself out, and the end result is well-being.

So what areas in your life do you feel deprived? Feel free comment below. Thanks for stopping by and we'll continue with Chapter 2 next month.

Blessings,
Melania